Your best/favorite Iowa joke

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Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?
On the University of Minnesota campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.

Did you hear about the fire in University of Minnesota's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
Coach Kill thought he was busy tracking 65 players getting to class wait until he learns about this.

Why is the Gopher football team like a possum?
Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Iowa and Minnesota have decided to merge into one state.
Iowa gets a lake, and Minnesota gets a football team.

Once upon a time a Iowa fan and an Minnesota fan were on a road trip and the Minnesota felt the call of nature. They pulled off the road and the Minnesota ran into the brush. In a moment, the Iowa fan hears a voice saying, “There is nothing back here to wipe with.” The Iowa fan replied, “Use some leaves or something.” The Minnesota fan says, “There’s nothing in reach.” So the Iowa fan says “Have you got a dollar?” “I think so,” says the Minnesota. In a few minutes, the Minnesota fan shows up at the car door with his hands covered with you know what. The Iowa fan says, “What happened? I thought you were going to use a dollar.” The Minnesota replied, “I did, but have you ever tried to wipe your butt with 3 quarters, 2 dimes and a nickel?”
 


4 Iowa football players walk into a bar yelling "8 Days! 8 Days!" They go up to the bar and order some drinks.

"Wait...8 shots!"
"Yeah, 8 shots!"
"Whooo-8 days!"

The bartender looks at them and says "so, it sounds like you guys are celebrating something".

The team captain replies "well, we just got done with a jigsaw puzzle, and it took us 8 days" and they all downed a shot.

"Must have been a heck of a jigsaw puzzle", said the bartender.

"Are you kidding? The box said 3 - 5 years."
 

What do you call a pretty girl in Iowa?

A Tourist

What do you call a tourist in Iowa?

Lost
 

A couple of Hawkeye fans are out hunting, when one of them suddenly grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "I think Bubba is dead! What should I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy and follow my instructions. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is silence... and then a shot is heard.

The guy's voice comes back on the line, "Okay, now what?"
 


Q. You know why you should never hit an Iowa football player on a bike?

A. It could be your bike
 

Why do Iowa grads display their diplomas in their windshields?

So they can park in the handicap spot.
 

How do you get an Iowa grad off your door step?
Pay for the pizza.

An Iowa guy comes home early from work and finds his wife in bed with another guy. He walks into the bedroom with a gun to his head saying he can't take this anymore. The wife pleads with him not to shoot himself. He tells her "shut up b**** -- you're next!"
 

"Did you hear the one about the Iowa trolls that were so brain damaged by rhabdomyolysis that they accidentally got accounts on the Minnesota football board and posted on this thread?"

"Yeah I did....hahahahah!"
 



How about the man from Iowa who after finding out his wife is going to have triplets buys a gun and goes looking for the other 2 guys.
 

An Iowa woman had a baby. She asked the Doctor who the mother was.
 

How do you castrate an Iowa Hawkeye fan?

Kick his sister in the mouth.
 

Why couldn't they make a nativity scene in Iowa City?

They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin!
 



-=Asking your favorite Iowan=-

"So, when your parents get divorced down in Iowa.. are they still brother/sister, or do they call that off too?"
 

Iowa is the second greatest state in America.

The other 49 are tied for first.
 

What do you call an Iowan with a sheep under each arm?

A pimp
 

What's the difference between an Iowan girl and the garbage?

The garbage gets taken out at least once a week.
 

What's the difference between a female Iowa fan and a Bigfoot?

One is super hairy and craps outside...the other one has big feet.
 

Why don't you marry a single girl from Iowa?.........

If she's not good enough for her family, what makes you think she's good enough for you?
 

What do Iowa fans and Minnesota fans have in common?

None of them have degrees from the University of Iowa.
 

A couple Iowa grads were on there way to Minneapolis for a recent football game. When they got close to the U campus, they read a sign that said "TCF Bank Stadium Left", so they turned their tractor around and went home.
 

Q: What do you do if an Iowa football player throws a pin at you?


A: Run. He still has the grenade in his mouth.
 

My favorite Iowa Joke: Their offense.

Also AIRBHG
 

Q: What is more ridiculous then a Minnesota fan trying to start a fire at the bottom of a lake?

A: An Iowa fan trying to put it out.
 

Why doesn’t the Minnesota department of tourism advertise in Iowa? Because an Iowan comes to town with one pair of overalls and one twenty dollar bill, stays a week, and doesn’t change either.
 

Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Iowa burned down?

Almost took out the whole trailer park.
 



Ole got a new cow and calls Sven over to look at it. Sven reaches down to test how good she milks and the cow farts. Sven again tries and the cow farts again. “You got this cow in Iowa didn’t you.” says Sven. “Ya!" said Ole, “How did you know?” Sven says, “My wife is from Iowa.”
 

Did you hear about tragic accident involving the University of Iowa Hockey Team?
They all drowned during Spring Training.

Why don't Iowans drink Kool-aid?
They don't know how to get two quarts of water into those little packets.

What do you say to a university of Iowa Graduate?
I'd like a Big Mac, large fries....

An Iowa woman walked into a bar with a duck on her head. The bartender said, "Hey we don't serve pigs here!"
The woman said, "It's not pig, it's a duck!"
The bartender said, "I was talking to the duck."

A guy from Iowa walked into a bar. A guy from Iowa walked into a bar. A guy from Iowa walked into a bar.
Then he realized the sign on the door said, "PULL."
 

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