Your best/favorite Iowa joke

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Tully55

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What's the difference between the prize winning sow at the Iowa State Fair and the Homecoming Queen at the University of Iowa?

15 pounds and a moustache!
 



I don't know any so I Googled Iowa jokes.
4th return was a link to a gopherhole thread from 2009.

I did find this one. Pretty good.

Members of the Iowa football team were placed in a remedial English class. “Because we are all new on campus we are going to start with the basics,” the professor explained. “Does anyone know what comes after a sentence?” All of the players raised their hands. “The appeal!” they all shouted with pride.
 



Why does the Mississippi river run south from MN?

Iowa sucks.
 

What happens when someone moves from Minnesota to Iowa?

The IQ of both states goes up.
 

I always wondered.. In Iowa when a couple gets a divorce, are they still siblings or do they throw that relationship out the window too?
 

What's the only good thing to come.out of Iowa in the last 50 years?

I-35!!
 



Three elderly ladies were sitting around having tea, discussing their lives. The first woman said, 'You know, my son's hands were burned as a child, and he grew up to become a concert pianist.'

The second woman replied, 'That's amazing, but my son suffered from polio, wore braces on his legs for years, yet went on to dance for the New York City Ballet.'

The third woman replied, 'Well my son was in a horrible car accident. The car exploded, leaving nothing but an ass and a pair of sunglasses, and he went on to become the head coach at Iowa.'





I remember this one from back when Fry was coaching of course.
 

There was a nuclear meltdown in Iowa City, it destroyed the entire city. It did $38 damage.
 

I was at the Miss Iowa beauty pageant last year....Nobody finished first but a few girls tied for third!
 

There is a pretty girl behind every tree in Iowa!
 



Definition of Relative Humidity- The bead of sweat that forms on a hawkeye's forehead while he is stooopin his sister.
 



In a terrible tragedy, fire swept through the University of Iowa library. Both books were destroyed, and one hadn't even been colored in yet.
 

DeltaHog said:
Members of the Iowa football team were placed in a remedial English class. “Because we are all new on campus we are going to start with the basics,” the professor explained. “Does anyone know what comes after a sentence?” All of the players raised their hands. “The appeal!” they all shouted with pride.
Click to expand...

This one's the leader in the clubhouse......
 

Why do the Iowa cheerleaders wear uniforms made out of polyester?
No virgin wool within a hundred miles of Iowa City.

How does Iowa Football Player spend their first week of spring practice?
Studying their Miranda Rights.

What do you call a Hawkeye Football player in a three piece suit?
The defendant.
 



PapaHawk21 said:
Iowa does not have natural grass in Kinnick Stadium anymore. Catch up with the times! ;)
Click to expand...

Ya, but now they have trouble with the Hawkeye Cheerleaders sticking to the synthetic turf.
 

The NCAA cleared a waiver submitted by the University of Iowa that no longer allows opposing teams to tackle them by the ankles. Apparently, the state of Iowa didn't want any more damage done to the tracking devices...
 

What's the difference between an Iowa cheerleader and a catfish? One has whiskers and stinks and the other is a catfish.
 

Did you hear about the Cessna that crashed into the Iowa cemetery?

So far, they've recovered over 200 bodies.

 

A guy with a Gopher sweatshirt walked into a medical clinic with a frog on his head. The nurse said "what can we do for you?" The frog said, "get this wart
off my butt!"
 

What do you get when you combine: a Iowa farmer, a Iowa troll who posts on Gopherhole, and a Iowa strength and conditioning coach? A cornholer that keeps passing out.
 

An Iowan lady shows up at an ugly contest, tries to sign up, but gets kicked out when she jots down her home state: "Sorry miss, no professionals!"
 

What's the difference between an Iowa Girl and a Cow?
About 20 pounds...

How do you make up the difference?
Force feed the cow...

Why do they have garbage cans at Kinnick?
To keep the flies off the cheerleaders...
 

What is 100 yards long and has three teeth? The front row at an Iowa football game.
 

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