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West Fargo Gopher Fan

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I didn't see the post but I have no problem with it. Its easy to forget but celebrities are human beings. If someone was publicly ripping my spouse I would react too.

Sidenote: the criticism of Fleck is valid. Losing to Bowling Green is inexcusable. Im just saying that I have to problem with Flecks wife reacting and then having second thoughts. Lets keep Flecks family out of it.
 

akgo4

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2 wrongs don't make a right:

1. Wives and kids are out of bounds, regardless of what she said afterwards.
2. Heather Fleck needs to be smarter than this in saying ANYTHING !! Even indirectly, she represents the U. The way they played can't be defended. People can be mad about that. No comments back towards Heather and the kids.

People need to relize that our level of success has been different previously. Hopefully 2019 isnt an aberation. There are the fans, the coach, and the team. Wife and kids = no, but that is also dependent on PJ fixing that issue. She gets a 1 off as it was already put forth. Can't go back to the well again. Then it isn't protecting your kids - its having rabbit ears to earned criticism (if they play like that again).
 


rowdaboat

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Can we yell at the players instead? Coaches off limits on their Lake Minnetonka mansions
 




Word

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Can we lock them in a room with a college level playbook and a competent coach as an alternative?
If that makes you feel better about yourself, sure.
 

UMwolverine

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As others have pointed out, Heather Fleck certainly has the right to publically voice her opinion, but she would be more circumspect. Not saying it is exactly the same, but when Nojel Eastern's mother started defending her son on a Purdue sports forum it did not go well. She would have been better off just ignoring the criticism.
 









GopherNuts

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It may be time to reevaluate your life if you’re getting to the point where you lose your mind over a football game. We all have a certain level of investment as a fan but it’s pretty pathetic when adults can’t control their emotions.
 


NotAFanOfBecky

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I got the impression from her posts that their relationship is strained. Kids are missing Dad and she’s trying to fill the void with “extra trips to Dairy Queen” and activities but that’s not the same as Dad. It seemed a little bit of a cry out to her husband. I get it, that’s tough but I wouldn’t have posted that part as most have said it’s a bit self serving. Criticism for the jack wagons swearing at the players and coaches I can totally understand. But, as others have pointed out you are compensated ridiculous amounts of money that give you generational wealth. While I certainly don’t condone that behavior or agree with it it’s going to happen due to the financial incentives the coaches have. I will also say that the Gopher fan base is very timid and kind compared to others I have seen. Man alive some programs have venom spitting at them if they don’t qualify for national titles every year. Worse yet they show contempt for the players who are literally giving everything they have. It’s a little too intense for my taste!
 

kg21

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I don't know, I just get the feeling Fleck is getting frustrated here. It's year 5 for peete's sake, I'm feeling 6-6 coming up, and it's spilling over into the Fleck family.

I think Fleck thought he would be much farther along with this program in year 5. I've posted this before.

I think there is some family frustration spilling over here. It's not going as well for the Flecks as they envisioned.
 

Some Day...Maybe

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I got the impression from her posts that their relationship is strained. Kids are missing Dad and she’s trying to fill the void with “extra trips to Dairy Queen” and activities but that’s not the same as Dad. It seemed a little bit of a cry out to her husband. I get it, that’s tough but I wouldn’t have posted that part as most have said it’s a bit self serving. Criticism for the jack wagons swearing at the players and coaches I can totally understand. But, as others have pointed out you are compensated ridiculous amounts of money that give you generational wealth. While I certainly don’t condone that behavior or agree with it it’s going to happen due to the financial incentives the coaches have. I will also say that the Gopher fan base is very timid and kind compared to others I have seen. Man alive some programs have venom spitting at them if they don’t qualify for national titles every year. Worse yet they show contempt for the players who are literally giving everything they have. It’s a little too intense for my taste!
I didn’t take it like that at all. More like she was making a general statement and probably standing up for the wives and families of PJ’s Asst. Coaches. I’m sure some of it was also for her benefit, but my read is the majority was for her fellow coaches’ families. I’m sure she can take it, my guess is she has plenty of self confidence and that’s why she posted it in the first place. She had had enough and wanted to let people know it.

If anyone knows there’ll be haters it’s PJ Fleck. The guy is probably as mentally tough as they come.
 
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Go4

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I didn’t take it like that at all. More like she was making a general statement and probably standing up for the wives and families of PJ’s Asst. Coaches. I’m sure some of it was also for her benefit, but my read is the majority was for her fellow coaches’ families. I’m sure she can take it, my guess is she has plenty of self confidence and that’s why she posted it in the first place. She had had enough and wanted to let pe Know it.

If anyone knows there’ll be haters it’s PJ Fleck. The guy is probably as mentally tough as they come.

+o4
 


Section2

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I don't know, I just get the feeling Fleck is getting frustrated here. It's year 5 for peete's sake, I'm feeling 6-6 coming up, and it's spilling over into the Fleck family.

I think Fleck thought he would be much farther along with this program in year 5. I've posted this before.

I think there is some family frustration spilling over here. It's not going as well for the Flecks as they envisioned.
When one has a gigantic ego, and they fail, it’s rarely their fault in their eyes. Winners change and adapt and do whatever it takes to succeed. We will see if Fleck does.
 

short ornery norwegian

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I saw the original thread. As I read it, it was a little more generalized.
The gist is that Coaches' wives and children have feelings too, and they don't like hearing people say bad things about their husband or father.
But - as I read it, it was directed in a more general direction - not just talking about specifically her, but talking about all coaches and their families - with a lot directed at the High School level.

I do remember the comments about Dad not being home because this is his job and he loves doing it. But I read it more as "have some compassion for the coach's family."

I did not read it as a "oh, poor me" type of thing.

More of a general reminder to fans at all levels to think about what they yell at games.

Bottom line - as I would paraphrase what I read - "don't be an A-hole." Fans support their teams and don't like losing, but they shouldn't make it so personal.

And the initial comments I saw after the thread were supportive. the trolls must have jumped in later.

no idea if there was some triggering incident - if there was, I don't remember anything that specific in what I read.
 

Six to Eight

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I don't know, I just get the feeling Fleck is getting frustrated here. It's year 5 for peete's sake, I'm feeling 6-6 coming up, and it's spilling over into the Fleck family.

I think Fleck thought he would be much farther along with this program in year 5. I've posted this before.

I think there is some family frustration spilling over here. It's not going as well for the Flecks as they envisioned.
I think you're probably making too strong of assumptions. Remember the whole "progress comes in increments, not in a straight line", or however he phrased it? That, and the "Year Zero" line don't suggest to me that he ever thought winning the West would be easy. He obviously wanted to temper fan expectations.

No idea about the wife, but I'm pretty sure PJ sees this as a temporary setback to be rowed through. All fine and well....assuming he actually learns something from the loss. Which is far from a given, based on his growing track record against weaker NC opponents and when trailing at half.
 

#2Gopher

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So......can we delete this one too?

asking for a friend.
Your friend not capable of asking? I see that your name is unregistered as well. I support Gopher Hole for deleting the original thread. Talk about bashing etc among immature people. Sometimes people realize that they make mistakes and they ask for a change of heart. In this case a thread was removed for obvious reasons. Why make a big deal out of it? Pretty demeaning in my opinion.
 

GopherinPhilly

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Well the good news is that PJ wont be moving up anytime soon with trouble at home and a wife with no social media savvy...bad news, Tanner Morgan has one more year after this.
 


Gold Rush

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If you think this is going to stop or doesn't happen worse at bigger football schools you are kidding yourself....It's the ugly side that comes with a high-profile , very public position.
I can only imagine what anger and vitriol would be directed at the head coach of a major SEC type school if they lost as a 31 point favorite to say....Bowling Green, Appalacian St. etc.. It would not be pretty, for sure. I do not know of too many coaches wives - PJ and Heather have chosen to be very public about their marriage so she is in the spotlight. If I were in his shoes I would try to protect her by NOT putting her in the limelight so she could try to live a normal life.

People would not be this upset if they didn't care. This certainly does not give the right to be personally nasty to PJ or Heather - that's out of line but I guess that's to be expected in these modern times. People are just getting more and more rude these days especially on social media.
I unfortunately did not see the message or hear what the comments were but I can only imagine they weren't too nice. Sometimes "Minnesota Nice" is VERY overrated.

People need to calm down - I have seen Gopher teams unravel before and the season get blown up and progressively worse with each game. It's not pretty. We need to rally together because our backs are to the wall and come out fighting harder than ever right now. Or "Right the ship" if you want to go there. If you see PJ or Heather or some of the players - give them your support or even a smile or thumbs up - they need your support more than ever right now.
 

Gopherfan84

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I thought Heather's message was well written, authentic and moving. She wasn't asking fans to void themselves of passion - only to be civil. Is that too much to ask?
Exactly, what fans become offended/sensitive to a wife requesting you to be decent in front of the coaches family is quite rich.
Coaches and their wives get it by the time they get to this level. That being said, I think they can still stand up for themselves and say “keep it civil” and “keep it away from my kids”. It’s quite reasonable to still ask for that even “it won’t ever change” or “it comes with the territory and they get paid millions so they should deal with it”
 

Plato

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The combination of hubris, entitlement and access to social media is a dangerous mix.
Whining about people being mean to her and complaining about the hours her poor hubby works is not a good look right after her husband's team suffered a very embarrassing loss and the common knowledge about hubby's very large salary.
 

HitMeAgainIAmStillMoving

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Interesting to see Slab and Up on opposite sides of the issue. I enjoy them both. My position is closer to Up but Slab is like my dad talking to me, I have to listen. Heather better hope PJ never runs for office. Her head would explode.
 




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