A conflict of interest

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golfinggopher

golfinggopher

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Looking for some feedback and opinions....So, I've been dating this girl for about 6 months and things are going great. After doing some talking over the weekend about her upcoming identical twin sisters wedding, I realized this morning that the date is the same day as the opening of TCF Bank-Sept. 12

The wedding is in Plymouth and the dance somewhere in Medina....Here are my thoughts 1. Tailgate at our new spot in St. Paul from early A.M. to 2 pm--staying somewhat sober. 2. A quick change and grab a cab to get to wedding at 3. A quick change back into Gopher gear and back to TCF by 5--a quick shot or two before the game. 4. Gametime from 6:30-10 (with a full flask of Morgan on hand) 5. Quick change and back to wedding dance via cab by 10:30. Can I pull this off? After realizing the conflict about an hour ago I've been in a panic and already informed her that there is no way I'm missing the opener! Thoughts? Comments? Better plans......?????
 

I don't envy your position at all and I pray that if you attempt this plan that you don't f up both events. Make sure you factor in the traffic factor in and out of campus that day as it will be a zoo. If I were you, I would probably give your girl and her family undivided attention through the actual ceremony as that is the important part and then miss the party which is the least important part. That means you will miss tailgating which is the least important part but will be at the game which is the most important part. You won't have to worry about getting to the next stop all day long and you will make everyone happy.

Oh, don't tell your girlfriend that getting back to the party is an option - that way if you don't make it you won't upset her, but if you can get there in time after we beat Air Force, you can smoothly walk in with a victory smile on your face, grab her hand and ask "may I have the next dance"?! Her father will know you're a keeper because he knows how quickly you had to leave the game and she'll be swept off her feet in front of her family.

Your future brother in law is the prick that agreed to a wedding on the biggest game in Gopher history in the last few decades.

Good luck!

Go Gophers!!
 

I'd sacrifice the tailgating part of the day, focus on getting to the game. If you skip the tailgating and spend time with your girlfriend, things will be far less hectic, and she'll be less upset with you. And go a bit overboard on buying a present for her sister, that couldn't hurt.
 

I'm not sure I can skip the tailgate...I've been looking forward to this for a loooonnnnnng time. However, I will definitely have to stay half assed sober!
 

Agreed with above, skip the tailgate. One important thing to note while deciding is the fact that UM tailgate lots open at 7am or 6 hours before kick, whichever is later. This means the UM lots won't open until noon on 9/12. That's only 2 hours of tailgate and prob isn't worth the potential drama.
 


Am I to understand that her twin sisters are getting married? I've heard they've
loosened up the definition of marriage in this country, but that's really pushing it! LOL

Break up about 3 weeks before the wedding, then get back together on Sept. 13th.
Problem solved.
 

GoAUpher said:
Agreed with above, skip the tailgate. One important thing to note while deciding is the fact that UM tailgate lots open at 7am or 6 hours before kick, whichever is later. This means the UM lots won't open until noon on 9/12. That's only 2 hours of tailgate and prob isn't worth the potential drama.
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That's good info. Thanks! I guess no tailgate! :mad: I was really looking forward to that....
 

A couple of quick points:

(1) By finding a Maroon suit, you can save yourself time in changing back and forth from Gopher gear to wedding gear.
(2) Do you have the money to throw down for all these cabs from Mpls to Plymouth? As someone who grew up in Wayzata and has sent drunk friends home from Dinkytown to Plymouth in cabs, I can honestly tell you you're looking at $40 fare minimum, plus tip, one way. More than that for the trip to Medina.
(3) Thinking you can get to Medina after the game by 10:30 might be pretty wishful thinking. I have to go with Bleed on this one in saying you shouldn't promise anything regarding the reception. I just have a feeling that first game is going to be a traffic nightmare, since there will be nothing to simulate it ahead of the actual event. With the game scheduled for 6, but pageantry probably pushing that back a bit, I imagine 10 would be the earliest the game will end. The ride from Stadium Village to Medina is a solid 20-25 minutes with absolutely zero traffic, so 10:30 seems incredibly optimistic.
(4) I'd recommend staying sober until you return to the game. Trust me, this whole thing will go a lot smoother if you just skip the tailgate and spend time with the lady. Assuming she's involved in the wedding party, maybe a stop out at the tailgate to check out the lay of the land, but I would probably have no more than a single beer during your time, and make sure to return early. Get a photo opp with the lady in her dress, be there early shaking hands and schmoozing with the relatives, etc. Any ground work you can lay in advance of leaving will benefit you in the long run. There's 100s of additional tailgates - as Bleed said - the game is the really once-in-a-lifetime experience.
(5) Use the phrase "once-in-a-lifetime experience" when discussing game attendance with your girlfriend. Please avoid making any direct comparisons to the wedding in terms of which is more of a "once-in-a-lifetime" event. That is a quagmire you don't need to get drawn into.
(6) Don't panic about this. Best advice - kill the girlfriend with kindness over this thing. Go on and on about how you're going to be there all day (if need be) and will be sure to be there to meet her family, do the wedding thing, etc. Stay focused. The most important thing here is that you get to the game and that your girlfriend feels like you paid her and her family the appropriate amount of time and respect. If you're saying or doing anything that works against accomplishing either of these goals (and to be successful, you need to accomplish both), back up and start again.
 

Do you have any idea what a cab from Dinkytown to Medina is going to run you? Ouch.
 




Skip all wedding related activities and attend the tailgate, game, and post game celebration in dinkytown. It's about time your girlfriend knows she is dating a real Gopher fan.

Odds are good that either the marriage or your relationship will someday end but you will always remember the first game at TCF.
 

I'll co-sign earlier admonitions. By your language, it sounds as though this girl may end up being one you'd like to sign to a "long-term extension." As you will learn, and may have already figured out, her contentedness is more important than yours.

There's just no way to make the agenda you propose work. I'd suggest staying by her side, dutifully attending any and all events throughout the course of the day, up to and including the wedding. After the wedding, depart immediately and you may be able to get a good 30-45 min of tailgating in before the game starts.

Pretend like there's no way you'll be back for the reception. Then when you stroll in unexpectedly, you will look like a knight in shining armor.
 

at the bar said:
Skip all wedding related activities and attend the tailgate, game, and post game celebration in dinkytown. It's about time your girlfriend knows she is dating a real Gopher fan.

Odds are good that either the marriage or your relationship will someday end but you will always remember the first game at TCF.
Click to expand...

Statistics suggest that "at the bar" is correct. However I would look at his as an opportunity to gain valuable information. If your girlfriend goes nuts and throws the guilt at you, etc., you know she's not the one for you. However, if she "understands" what you are doing, you may have a keeper on your hands.
 



Is she the "one"? If so, you're screwed. If you try what you are planning you will never live it down if you try to have your cake and eat it too. On the other hand, you could dump her and find a real Gopher girlfriend for a wife.

Godspeed man, Godspeed *salute*
 

There's always the possibility of just attending the first half of the game and leaving at halftime. I'm sure The Bitter End Club would give you a special dispensation.
 

Excellent stuff so far fellas.....Great info and I figured people on this board would understand my predicament. I'm thinking I'll hit the wedding, drive down and tailgate for a little while and then hit the game. I hate to miss the "experience" of hanging with the boys but I guess at least this way I'll REMEMBER the first game at TCF!
 

Hmmm, this is a tough one. I was in a similar situation a few years ago when the Gophers were going for the 2002 NCAA Championship in hockey. I had watched all of regulation to the detriment of a couples affair that I was already drastically late for. I called my girlfriend at the time and explained to her why I was late, and she was very understanding.

But I started to feel guilty and I left before overtime to meet up with her at the event. I remember her distinctly asking me when I arrived what the score was and when I explained it was tied and was headed for overtime, she was pretty excited that I had skipped out to join her instead of watch the rest of the game.

Of course, Grant Potulny scored the winning goal, I missed it and had to watch the replay. As it turned out, she moved to the deep south, begged me to follow and I flat refused, which effectively ended things.

In looking back, I guess it comes down to how much you like this girl. If she's possibly "the one", than I would say the wedding takes priority. If not, then I would say go Gophers!!! In any case, it all depends upon how you feel about her overall. At least, that's my thinking.

Good luck!!!!
 

Great thread. I think every football fan can sympathize with you.

I agree with most of the above. Skip the tailgate, go to the wedding, make the game, skip the reception.
1. There will be many more tailgates to attend and for the most part they will all be the same.
2. There will be many more receptions to attend and they are all the same as well.

The wedding and the game are the important events. Good luck amigo.
 

I cannot recommend a suggestion as

worthless.gif
 

golfinggopher said:
Looking for some feedback and opinions....So, I've been dating this girl for about 6 months and things are going great. After doing some talking over the weekend about her upcoming identical twin sisters wedding, I realized this morning that the date is the same day as the opening of TCF Bank-Sept. 12

The wedding is in Plymouth and the dance somewhere in Medina....Here are my thoughts 1. Tailgate at our new spot in St. Paul from early A.M. to 2 pm--staying somewhat sober. 2. A quick change and grab a cab to get to wedding at 3. A quick change back into Gopher gear and back to TCF by 5--a quick shot or two before the game. 4. Gametime from 6:30-10 (with a full flask of Morgan on hand) 5. Quick change and back to wedding dance via cab by 10:30. Can I pull this off? After realizing the conflict about an hour ago I've been in a panic and already informed her that there is no way I'm missing the opener! Thoughts? Comments? Better plans......?????
Click to expand...

Adding on, Go overboard in the receiving line right after the wedding. Let the bride "know" how lovely she is and how much you appreciate the invitation. Also Thank the parents bigtime and maybe have a little statement for the bride and groom similar to a toast/ roast speech.

If the family meets the day after, you can also meet with them then. One on one time stands out much more than the reception! As long as you keep your significant happy, it should be all good.
 

1997

1997. Final Four Saturday

My girlfriend at the time (we'd been together a couple years) had a sister who got married at 6 PM , roughly an hour before the tip-off of Minnesota/Kentucky.
First off, why anyone would get married on Final Four Saturday is beyond my comprehension.
The wedding crowd had zero (ZERO) sports fans. Almost all had no idea of the game's significance.
There were no TV's at the reception.
I made a calculated and risky decision to leave immediately after the ceremony and head to a nearby bar to catch the action. (completely against girlfriend's wishes)
At game's conclusion, I made my way back to the dance, where I was treated coldly by everyone and had a few rude remarks tossed my way.
It was worth it!
 

Yeah, I think you've got the idea. But your basic plan is correct - in fact you should thank the Good Lord above that the wedding is at 3PM, not later in the afternoon. Just stay for the wedding and talking afterwords (this should wrap up by 4:30 at the very latest) and when your gf heads from the church to the reception hall - which could be as early as 3:45 or 4, you're good to go to the game. Just stress to her that this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

For preparations, you're going to want to map out parking well in advance. You've gotta have a foolproof way of getting close to the stadium on time. You might be stuck at the ceremony and after-talking until maybe even 4:30, so I'd suggest this: get a bike. Park at some place a mile or two or 3 from the stadium where you can quickly get to, park it, then bike down to the stadium. Or if you're a runner just put on your shoes and go. Even for b-ball games, I see people waiting in slow stop-and-go for a long time outside parking ramps. You don't want to arrive at 5 and be panicking about missing kickoff or the flyover because you can't get to a parking spot.
 

Screw Fall Weddings

I allow for weddings 40 weeks a year, and every year I still get invited to weddings during college football season. I just stopped going to them.

You don't want to set a bad precident... if you are willing to miss some of the experience for the first game at TCF, then you are pretty much willing to be talked out of going to any Gopher game because this one is very special.

If this person really loves you, they will understand that you have been committed to this particular football game for several years now, and you don't want to back out of that committment.
 

Omega015 said:
I allow for weddings 40 weeks a year, and every year I still get invited to weddings during college football season. I just stopped going to them.

You don't want to set a bad precident... if you are willing to miss some of the experience for the first game at TCF, then you are pretty much willing to be talked out of going to any Gopher game because this one is very special.

If this person really loves you, they will understand that you have been committed to this particular football game for several years now, and you don't want to back out of that committment.
Click to expand...

Good luck with that. I can hear it now "if you really loved me, you'd understand that this is my twin sister's wedding and that I really want you to be a part of this special day". This isn't any old wedding...Its her twin sister's wedding. If they are like all the female twins i know then they are extremely close (closer than most non-twin siblings). This isn't a cousin, best friend, sororiety sister, etc. If you skip out on it all you are risking the relationship. If that's ok then honestly, I think the decision is made (on both the game and the relationship). If that's not cool, then I think the compromise route is just fine. I'm not sure where the bad precident thing comes in. I mean, how likely is it that he'll face this kind of scenario again? Not super likely. Pretty much the only thing he could run into that would be worse is A) his own wedding on a huge gameday which we all know he wouldn't allow or B) His wife goes into labor when the Gophers are playing in the Rose Bowl.
 

I would agree with most of the guys on this board that you skip the tailgating, focus on the wedding and leave right after the ceremony for the game.

However, I wouldn't lay it on too thick with the bride/goom and family unless you're really close to them. I wouldn't have cared if my sisters boyfriends ditched my wedding reception and honestly probably would never have noticed they were gone. Plus, I doubt your girlfriend will miss you too much during the reception (if she drinks and likes to dance, that is) and will have a lot of fun catching up with family and dancing with the wedding party. The only time she will notice you missing is during the slow dances and you can always make that up to her at home later that night, if you're the romantic type.

Hopefully your girlfriend realized that you are trying to find a compromise that will make both of you happy. IMO, it's better that you both get a little of what you want than one of you sacrificing everything and being in a lousy mood.
 

The question you need an answer too is. "Is your girl friend in the wedding?"

If she is in the wedding, you wont see her all day anyways. Getting hair done, dress, getting sis to the church, etc. If I was you, I would be tailgaiting regardless of what day it was just so I could avoid my GF on her sisters big day.

So, tailgate, hit wedding and then hit game. No reception for you but a victory romp in hotel with your drunk and happy GF should be a nice finish to the day.

Best of all, you wont have to worry about her getting all stupid and looking at you and asking when she gets a ring because your lack of attentiveness will clearly show her you aint asking anytime soon!
 


GopherinPhilly said:
The question you need an answer too is. "Is your girl friend in the wedding?"

If she is in the wedding, you wont see her all day anyways. Getting hair done, dress, getting sis to the church, etc. If I was you, I would be tailgaiting regardless of what day it was just so I could avoid my GF on her sisters big day.

So, tailgate, hit wedding and then hit game. No reception for you but a victory romp in hotel with your drunk and happy GF should be a nice finish to the day.

Best of all, you wont have to worry about her getting all stupid and looking at you and asking when she gets a ring because your lack of attentiveness will clearly show her you aint asking anytime soon!
Click to expand...

I laughed very hard at this post.
 

I agree with most in that skipping the tailgating to pay full attention to the wedding is your best option. I would really suggest trying to make it back for some of the reception especially because it's the twin sisters wedding. I still remember a former girlfriend getting very angry with me for hanging with the guys at a reception for one of her gf's instead of dancing with her. I could only assume that "not having your boyfriend to dance with" at your twin sisters wedding would unleash much more anger than I was subjected to a couple years ago.

Best case scenairo: Gophers put it away early and you leave a little early to make it back for a few dances.
 

Ok I am a happily married man and I think somewhat of a feminist but I am shocked at the timidity of this board. I think you are a good guy for caring and by bringing it up early should be able to pull this off.

That said, I will say it:
She is your girlfriend of six months!!!! If on your first date on December 1, 2008, she asked you what you would be doing September 12 2009, you had an answer. You would have said: "I'm busy, I'm attending the season opener of the new stadium." This is a legit answer.

I know this sounds crass but six months is really not very long in a relationship. Odds wise it is only about 50% you guys are still together September 12 if you are youngish (25 or below).

Start laying the groundwork now for attending game and part of the tailgate and you will be ok as long as the family already knows you are a fan.
 

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