My letter to A.J. Barker...

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bleedsmaroonandgold said:
I thought this letter was unneccessary and childish, but AJ Barker is an adult, and it is fair to criticize an adult for not acting like an adult.
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I guess this is part of the crux of the matter...is AJ an adult or not? Anyway, I agree letter 2 is unnecessary and there are other people who are far more appropriate to address this situation. Personally he has had his time in the spotlight and it is time to move on.
 

calminnfan said:
I guess this is part of the crux of the matter...is AJ an adult or not? Anyway, I agree letter 2 is unnecessary and there are other people who are far more appropriate to address this situation. Personally he has had his time in the spotlight and it is time to move on.
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The age of majority, or adulthood, is a legal concept. It is not necessarily the age when one matures into the person they will ultimately become. Cannot speak for AJ, but for me, that was a lot later.
 

MrC said:
The age of majority, or adulthood, is a legal concept. It is not necessarily the age when one matures into the person they will ultimately become. Cannot speak for AJ, but for me, that was a lot later.
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I know...but at Barker's age, people want to be treated like adults, hate perceived condescension but fail to recognize their behavior is like that of a spoiled child.
 

calminnfan said:
I know...but at Barker's age, people want to be treated like adults, hate perceived condescension but fail to recognize their behavior is like that of a spoiled child.
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Which might be a factor to consider when evaluating his ill-conceived letter. I letter he will likely come to regret. At least I hope for his sake he does.
 

MrC said:
Which might be a factor to consider when evaluating his ill-conceived letter. I letter he will likely come to regret. At least I hope for his sake he does.
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True enough...unfortunately with the evolution of Social media and failure of younger and many times older people to appreciate consequences, it makes it all the more problematic and damaging.
 


I don't care for the original poster's letter - couldn't even make myself finish reading it.

But it blows my mind to hear that childhood extends into one's twenties. At the age of 21 my dad was a schoolbus mechanic changing my brother's diapers. At the age of 21 my grandpa was a sergeant fighting the Nazis in Belgium and sending his paychecks home to his wife to buy food for his baby son and widowed mother. Apparently my family has been living all wrong.

Adulthood starts at 12:01am on your 18th birthday, and despite the fact that some people spend years running from it, you can't escape it. Because of the way he's handled his (possibly legitimate) gripe, I have no sympathy for AJ Barker.
 


everybody knows my name said:
I don't care for the original poster's letter - couldn't even make myself finish reading it.

But it blows my mind to hear that childhood extends into one's twenties. At the age of 21 my dad was a schoolbus mechanic changing my brother's diapers. At the age of 21 my grandpa was a sergeant fighting the Nazis in Belgium and sending his paychecks home to his wife to buy food for his baby son and widowed mother. Apparently my family has been living all wrong.

Adulthood starts at 12:01am on your 18th birthday, and despite the fact that some people spend years running from it, you can't escape it. Because of the way he's handled his (possibly legitimate) gripe, I have no sympathy for AJ Barker.[/Q

It's funny you think times and attitudes are he same as the world wars, I bet u lose your mind every time you put gas in your car and its 3.50 a gallon instead of .10
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Seriously mnvcguy? "Almost always in the middle..."? I couldn't disagree more. I'm not suggesting Coach Kill didn't light Barker up, and he admitted he did. I am unequivocally saying he did the right thing to get after Barker, that Barker is a spoiled baby who thinks he's entitled to a scholarship, that Barker's behavior towards the training staff was out of line, that he is selfish and putting his personal stats and glory above team goals, and that he likely was not following orders. He walked on, was not forced to be part of the program, and in doing so accepted the rules of his participation. If he wants to run a team, he should go find his own to run, and see how many follow his leadership. So where is the middle ground?
 



MNVCGUY said:
The part I find amazing is how quick Barker went from fan favorite to public enemy #1 like you stated. He was being compared to Decker and everyone was loving his potential and now the general sentiment is don't let the door hit you on the way out. Like you I don't agree with the way Barker handled things but it really has been facinating to see how quickly everyone turned on him.
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I don't see how that's so surprising. The guy essentially said f-you to his teammates.

What was even the point of him making this into a circus? Get Kill fired or make him change the way he does things? Well that's not going to happen. But what he did do is become a huge distraction for his teammates and take away from senior day. He potentially hurt the program's perception even more, which also hurts the players.

It's one thing to stand up for what you believe in. It's another to make it into a circus to try and make people feel bad for him. This was all about A.J. Barker from the beginning and that's all he really cares about.
 

lakesgopher said:
I bet u lose your mind every time you put gas in your car and its 3.50 a gallon instead of .10
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I bet you assume things you don't know.

My point, which apparently I didn't explain well enough for you, is that people are capable of a lot better than what AJ is doing for himself and his ex-team. And people should do what they're capable of. I gave some examples of ordinary people being men at the age of 21, and you gave the example of yourself being an overgrown teenager at 21.
 

everybody knows my name said:
I bet you assume things you don't know.

My point, which apparently I didn't explain well enough for you, is that people are capable of a lot better than what AJ is doing for himself and his ex-team. And people should do what they're capable of. I gave some examples of ordinary people being men at the age of 21, and you gave the example of yourself being an overgrown teenager at 21.
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I've done stupid things at Barker's age. I've done stupid things at an older age than Barker is. But I've known that that sort of behavior is inapproriate and expected that I be held accountable for it since well before I was Barker's age. Some attitudes may have changed over the years, but even to this day, we send men three years younger than Barker to war, and they get held accountable for misjudgements they make while they are literally being shot at. I don't think it is unreasonable to say that a 21 year old with three years of higher education is the one responsible for his decisions.
 


Totally off topic, but did Goldy's "cousin" do this? I saw this video after watching the embedded video.
 



killme said:
Seriously mnvcguy? "Almost always in the middle..."? I couldn't disagree more. I'm not suggesting Coach Kill didn't light Barker up, and he admitted he did. I am unequivocally saying he did the right thing to get after Barker, that Barker is a spoiled baby who thinks he's entitled to a scholarship, that Barker's behavior towards the training staff was out of line, that he is selfish and putting his personal stats and glory above team goals, and that he likely was not following orders. He walked on, was not forced to be part of the program, and in doing so accepted the rules of his participation. If he wants to run a team, he should go find his own to run, and see how many follow his leadership. So where is the middle ground?
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Your right....my bad.....Kill is Perfect, Barker is the devil....no way Jerry could be at fault at all for what happened because he would never make a mistake...this is 100% AJ Barker's fault...all hail Coach Kill.

Barker definitely didn't handle things well and in the end he probably is a big part of the problem but I think it is foolish to just let Kill totally off the hook for what happened.
 

MNVCGUY said:
Your right....my bad.....Kill is Perfect, Barker is the devil....no way Jerry could be at fault at all for what happened because he would never make a mistake...this is 100% AJ Barker's fault...all hail Coach Kill.

Barker definitely didn't handle things well and in the end he probably is a big part of the problem but I think it is foolish to just let Kill totally off the hook for what happened.
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http://hermiene.net/essays-trans/relativity_of_wrong.html

The young specialist in English Lit, having quoted me, went on to lecture me severely on the fact that in every century people have thought they understood the Universe at last, and in every century they were proven to be wrong. It follows that the one thing we can say about out modern "knowledge" is that it is wrong.

The young man then quoted with approval what Socrates had said on learning that the Delphic oracle had proclaimed him the wisest man in Greece. "If I am the wisest man," said Socrates, "it is because I alone know that I know nothing." The implication was that I was very foolish because I knew a great deal.

Alas, none of this was new to me. (There is very little that is new to me; I wish my corresponders would realize this.) This particular thesis was addressed to me a quarter of a century ago by John Campbell, who specialized in irritating me. He also told me that all theories are proven wrong in time.
My answer to him was, "John, when people thought the Earth was flat, they were wrong. When people thought the Earth was spherical, they were wrong. But if you think that thinking the Earth is spherical is just as wrong as thinking the Earth is flat, then your view is wronger than both of them put together."


If Kill is in the wrong at all, it's to an insignificant degree, just as someone claiming the Earth is a sphere far less wrong than someone saying the Earth is flat. There just doesn't seem to be much room for fault with Kill here. He yelled at a player? That's what coaches do. He refused an ultimatum to guarantee a scholarship for next year before the current season is even over? Hard to find fault with Kill in that.
 

lakesgopher said:
It's funny you think times and attitudes are he same as the world wars, I bet u lose your mind every time you put gas in your car and its 3.50 a gallon instead of .10
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First off, learn to quote.

Secondly, you are an idiot.
 

I believe AJ Barker made a mistake by turning this is into the spectacle that it has become. I don't know if Jerry Kill is a "great man" or not because I have never met him or have seen him in action other than game days. But even the greatest of men make mistakes. And, I believe his use of language and insulting the young man's upbringing and how he was f'ing brought up is a big mistake. Coach Kill is an experienced coach and he should know his players well enough to know which ones he can say certain things to and which one's he cannot. I believe in this instance that Kill made the 1st mistake with his outburst at practice and, more than Barker who is a young punk, he should know better. Should he be fired for it? No. But great men are not afraid to admit when they make a mistake. Kill, in my opinion, has not owned up to the mistakes he has made in this situation. I highly doubt he would insult his own daughter's upbringing and use the f'ennheimer on her in the way that he did with Barker. Kill, like Barker, is also trying to save face. And that and this whole situation does not fit well with the "aw shucks, I am just a little funny looking guy from Kansas" persona that Kill has worked so hard to cultivate.

50PoundHead said:
I agree. Now that the dust has settled, let's just get beyond the drama and get back to business. Barker brought this on himself, but there's no need to thumb him in the eye as an exclamation point to the whole affair.
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="Formo;609566"] First off, learn to quote. Secondly, you are an idiot.
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LOL! I always say that to Station18 and Doc Don.
 

lakesgopher said:
I was legally an adult but very few ppl at the age of 21 are adults. If some of you don't understand that, please don't kids. My opinion is barker is a kid and he made a childish decision. For those of you that have decided to name call and rip barker apart you are also making childish actions and are no better then barker, except most of you are at an age to know better.

Barker didn't damage our program or our coach this will work itself out and will be forgotten by the new year
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He may not have, but I think he was trying to, by going about things the way he did. And that is why so many have turned on him. Mbakwe made mistakes, but he didn't attack anyone in the program. Huge difference when wondering why the fans support one and not the other.
 

GophersInIowa said:
I don't see how that's so surprising. The guy essentially said f-you to his teammates.

What was even the point of him making this into a circus? Get Kill fired or make him change the way he does things? Well that's not going to happen. But what he did do is become a huge distraction for his teammates and take away from senior day. He potentially hurt the program's perception even more, which also hurts the players.

It's one thing to stand up for what you believe in. It's another to make it into a circus to try and make people feel bad for him. This was all about A.J. Barker from the beginning and that's all he really cares about.
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+1
 

3399 said:
I believe AJ Barker made a mistake by turning this is into the spectacle that it has become. I don't know if Jerry Kill is a "great man" or not because I have never met him or have seen him in action other than game days. But even the greatest of men make mistakes. And, I believe his use of language and insulting the young man's upbringing and how he was f'ing brought up is a big mistake. Coach Kill is an experienced coach and he should know his players well enough to know which ones he can say certain things to and which one's he cannot. I believe in this instance that Kill made the 1st mistake with his outburst at practice and, more than Barker who is a young punk, he should know better. Should he be fired for it? No. But great men are not afraid to admit when they make a mistake. Kill, in my opinion, has not owned up to the mistakes he has made in this situation. I highly doubt he would insult his own daughter's upbringing and use the f'ennheimer on her in the way that he did with Barker. Kill, like Barker, is also trying to save face. And that and this whole situation does not fit well with the "aw shucks, I am just a little funny looking guy from Kansas" persona that Kill has worked so hard to cultivate.
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I should have been more clear. When AJ hit "send," he turned the simple act of walking away from the Gopher football program into a sh*tstorm. I don't know if his level of disappointment was in the right proportion to the situation or not. I hope you don't think I was insinuating that I believe Kill to be a "great man." He's a football coach trying to make his way in his business just like we all try to make it in ours. His approaches are his approaches and I frankly don't know if they work or not. He'll be judged on wins and losses.

The main point of this post was to try and call off the dogs to some extent. No need to demonize Barker.
 

I don't have much to add here - I stay pretty passive on this board. But as a sincere Gopher football fan, and as an atheist, I appreciate the others on this board that have called out OP's nonsense.

For the record, I think Barker handled this situation poorly, and his words lost all credence when he chose which route to take. That said, I also think that there are better ways to unify a team than religion. Brotherhood crosses all religions, and lack thereof. I'm hopeful that Kill works to build this brotherhood in an effective and appropriate way.

Kill has had a great coaching career and I hope he continues that here. Hope to see a strong crowd out there on Saturday! Go Gophs!
 

My opinion:

-Barker made a mistake, we all make mistakes. Let me know if any of you guys have never messed up.
-Do you really think Barker thought this would turn into such a big deal not just in MN, but on things like ESPN too? I highly doubt that.
-Instead of siding with either Kill or barker and tearing part the other, why don't we just keep an open mind since none of you even know what stuff actually happened.

-Also, this letter was completely unnecessary, you're chewing out a 20 year old kid for standing up for what he thinks, even if you don't like the way he did it.
 

mcal24 said:
My opinion:

-Barker made a mistake, we all make mistakes. Let me know if any of you guys have never messed up.
-Do you really think Barker thought this would turn into such a big deal not just in MN, but on things like ESPN too? I highly doubt that.
-Instead of siding with either Kill or barker and tearing part the other, why don't we just keep an open mind since none of you even know what stuff actually happened.

-Also, this letter was completely unnecessary, you're chewing out a 20 year old kid for standing up for what he thinks, even if you don't like the way he did it.
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1. I have never been wrong or made a mistake. I thought I had once, but I had not.

2. Barker knew it would be newsworthy. Some receiver criticized coach Leach out in Washington and it was on the front page of ESPN's college football page for days. Yeah, I think Barker new it would be a big deal, and he tried to make it as big as he could.

3. I side with Kill because he didn't quit and he isn't trying to ruin Barker.

4. I doon't get the idea that people object to Barker being upset or quitting as much as they object to his trying to burn the house down on his way out the door.
 


You people have it all wrong and you are blaming the wrong person! It is all Al Gore's fault! He invented the internet. As a result now any idiot can engage a multitude of people in a never ending strings of rambling and incoherent babbling. Damn you Gore!
 

mcal24 said:
My opinion:

-Barker made a mistake, we all make mistakes. Let me know if any of you guys have never messed up.
Doesn't mean you can't be critical of him and his mistake. Say your son gets thrown in jail. Should you not be critical of his actions because "we all make mistakes"?

-Do you really think Barker thought this would turn into such a big deal not just in MN, but on things like ESPN too? I highly doubt that.
Barker has been all over twitter. He knew exactly what was going to happen.

-Instead of siding with either Kill or barker and tearing part the other, why don't we just keep an open mind since none of you even know what stuff actually happened.
It's hard to keep an open mind when Barker acted like a little baby who needed attention and wanted people to feel bad for them. The only thing that really alarmed me was the "faggot" comment. And that didn't even come from Kill.

-Also, this letter was completely unnecessary, you're chewing out a 20 year old kid for standing up for what he thinks, even if you don't like the way he did it.
So it's okay for Barker to make a circus out of this and hurt others, but it's not okay for others to rip on him?
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.
 

I made a big mistake when I was a kid, but my mom's good friend still thought I was a $hithead.
 

Wow, I hope you are embarrassed for sharing this "letter" publicly. This might be the worst thing I've read on the GopherHole since Loon was banned. I could state everything wrong with this letter, but I am sure it's already been said and crap like I just read is not worth a longer response.
 


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