Why does the Onion hate the Gophers?

ski-u-mah

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http://www.theonion.com/articles/how-us-news-ranks-colleges,33959/

U.S. News & World Report published its influential annual list of the nation’s best colleges earlier this month, with Princeton University topping the 2014 rankings. Here is a behind-the-scenes look at the methods and metrics used by the magazine:

Step 1: Schools are weighed on a scale
Step 2: Researchers calculate each campus’ student-to-student ratio
Step 3: Any college whose colors are maroon and gold is immediately eliminated
Step 4: Analysts aggregate incoming freshmen’s SAT, ACT, and COWFACTS test scores
Step 5: Number of library books probably factors in somewhere around here
Step 6: Quick visit to colleges to see who has “We Love U.S. News & World Report” banners up
Step 7: ((Average class size)(Quads per student)) / ((Out-of-state tuition)(Number of West African fusion dance troupes)) + (Nobel Prize winning faculty members - Number of meal plan options)^Number of nicknames for dining hall
Step 8: Data are meticulously triple-checked and corrected as necessary to ensure that you say “This is complete bull*&^!#*&^!#*&^!#*&^!#” when you see your school’s rank
 

the onion was started in wisconsin (madison???). that might have something to do with it
 





You know its a fake rag, right?
 

Started in Madison and they don't have trouble poking fun at anyone. Wisconsinites or not, they used to just throw sh*t at Favre all the time.
 

You know its a fake rag, right?

I think everyone knows that. It's just funny that they said "Any college whose colors are maroon and gold is immediately eliminated". There aren't too many schools that claim maroon and gold as their school colors.
 







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