How about as a compromise we let the winner of the weekly pick the score be OC for the next game?
Coach Kill: How do you do, good lady. I am Jerry, Head Coach of the Gophers. Whose office is that?
GopherHole: Head Coach of the who?
Coach Kill: The Gophers.
Troll: Who are the Gophers?
Coach Kill: Well, we all are. We're all Gophers and I am your Head Coach.
Troll: I didn't know we had a Head Coach. I thought we were an autonomous collective.
GopherHole: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the red-shirt classes--
Troll: Oh there you go, bringing classes into it again.
GopherHole: That's what it's all about if only people would--
Coach Kill: Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that office?
Troll: No one lives there.
Coach Kill: Then who is your OC?
Troll: We don't have an OC.
Coach Kill: What?
GopherHole: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of an Offensive Coordinator for the week.
Coach Kill: Yes.
GopherHole: But all the decisions of that OC have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting.
Coach Kill: Yes, I see.
GopherHole: By a simple majority in the case of running plays,--
Coach Kill: Be quiet!
GopherHole: --but by a two-thirds majority in the case of jet sweeps--
Coach Kill: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
Troll: Order, eh -- who does he think he is?
Coach Kill: I am your Head Coach!
Troll: Well, I didn't vote for you.
Coach Kill: You don't vote for Head Coaches.
Troll: Well, 'ow did you become Head Coach then?
Coach Kill: The Lady of the 10,000 Lakes, [angels sing] her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Paul Bunyan’s Axe from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Coach Kill, was to carry The Axe. [singing stops] That is why I am your Head Coach!
GopherHole: Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing axes is no basis for a system of coaching. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Coach Kill: Be quiet!
DENNIS: Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw an axe at you!
Coach Kill: Shut up!
GopherHole: I mean, if I went around sayin' I was a Head Coach just because some moistened bink had lobbed an axe at me they'd put me away!
Coach Kill: Shut up! Will you shut up!
GopherHole: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
Coach Kill: Shut up!
GopherHole: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed!
Coach Kill: Bloody peasant!
GopherHole: Oh, what a give-away. Did you here that, did you here that, eh? That's what I'm on about -- did you see him repressing me, you saw it didn't you?