1) Never miss a bowl game (rebuilding year after previous coach excepted)
We have made a bowl game in 14 out of the last 20 years, and three of the six years we didn't make a bowl came in a coach's first year with the program (1997, 2007, 2011). 85% of our last twenty seasons fit into this definition, it should be a baseline expectation at this point. Failure to meet it is an automatic disqualifier IMO.
2) Beat at least one of Iowa, Michigan, Nebraska, Ohio State, Penn State, Wisconsin every two years
Gotta beat a rival or a helmet school every couple of years to keep interest going and give the fans something to remember. Don't have to do it every season but you can't go multiple years without doing it. In the last twenty years we failed to beat any of these teams in back to back years three times - 2007-2008, 2008-2009, and again from 2015-2016.
3) Beat Wisconsin at least every four years
Every senior class should have at least one win over the Badgers. The streak is beyond embarrassing and ending it should be a top priority.
4) Minimize off-field incidents
Limit embarrassing off-field behavior; it may still happen but should be dealt with fairly and swiftly. Discipline falls on the coach.