The headline in the Sunday paper will read?!…

[BleedGopher]

Gophers Run to Easy Victory

Subhead: 250 Yards on the Ground Key to Blowout

Go Gophers!!

 

[spermophilus]

Gophers’ Re-Balanced Attack Soars Over Flightless EMU

 

[noamfromm]

[trigger warning] Climate change threatens Gophers trip to Chapel Hill

 

[mngolf]

Bucs attacking Vikings ship.
When will Twins release Gallo.

 

[GopherFanatic19]

No last second fireworks needed in this Gopher Blowout victory

 

[GopherRock]

TAMPA BAY BUCS IN TOWN TO RENEW FORMER NFC CENTRAL RIVALRY!!!!

64 PAGE SPECIAL VIKINGS PREVIEW!!!!

NFC PREVIEW SPECTACULAR!!! 64 PAGE SPECIAL SECTION!!!

Gophers dispose of something called Eastern Michigan

 

[Vandy]

Eastern Michigan University to sue Liberty Mutual Insurance over the unauthorized use of their EMU slogans.

 

[Stan]

Gophers Defeat Eastern Michigan!

 

[PMWinSTP]

Gopher run game finds its direction against EMU

 

[Ski U Mah Gopher]

Winfield is Ready for Return to Minnesota

 

[bleedsmaroonandgold]

USA Gears Up For FIBA Gold Medal Game

 

[Stuff]

Rossi & Nubin establish a no fly zone for the Eagles in Gophers win.

 

[#2Gopher]

Gophers run over Eastern Michigan.

 

[swede2]

VIKES TO KICK OFF NFL SEASON AGAINST BUCS

VIKES GEAR UP FOR THURSDAY NIGHT GAME

JEFFERSON CONTRACT NEGOTIATIONS ONGOING

COUSINS SWAN SONG?

TWINS LEAD OVER GUARDIANS IN HORRID CENTRAL EXTENDED TO 9 GAMES

LOCAL WNBA TEAM ADORED BY DOZENS PREPARES FOR PLAYOFFS

LOCAL DI GRIDDERS SPLIT-TOMMIES LOSE CLOSE ONE; GOPHERS BEAT MAC VISITORS.

 

[Otis]

Gophers ensure latest MAC opponent doesn’t go bowling for dollars.

 

[nitramnaed]

Gophers subdue Eastern Michigan with dominate (What USAF said) first half

 

[USAF]

Gophers subdue Eastern Michigan with dominate first half

Even the STrib can still afford an editor that knows the difference between "dominate" and "dominant."

 

[Replacement Gopher]

Metro Council proposes $5k a month cash payments to homeless. Homeless need to promise to use money on housing.

 

[WAGopher]

Metro Council proposes $5k a month cash payments to homeless. Homeless need to promise to use money on housing.

I just became homeless. Show Me The Money!

 

[PeoplesFront]

“EMU Corralled at Huntington Bank Stadium”
Local Aussie man credited for limiting movement to only near the end zones

 

[nitramnaed]

Even the STrib can still afford an editor that knows the difference between "dominate" and "dominant."

You got me. I'm not even going to blame that on spell check.

 

[everybody knows my name]

STATE BUDGET OFFICE PROJECTS ENORMOUS SURPLUS; WALZ CALLS FOR TAX INCREASE.

Gophers Whip Eastern Meatchicken 108-3

 

[gopherguy15]

Eastern Michigan loses trap game against U.

 

[short ornery norwegian]

VIKINGS!!!!!

(Gopher game Saturday night finished too late for deadline. See website for details)

 

[gopherdudepart2]

Gophers win game just in time for second win in a ROW.