The curse of the Slab of Bacon

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RodentRampage

RodentRampage

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I know what's wrong. It's a curse. The curse came into effect when the Slab of Bacon was stolen. Yes, it was stolen, Wisconsin didn't return it when we won it, and when it was "found", it was discovered that someone had recorded the scores on it for many years. Now the stolen item sits in Madison. The Slab is not the property of Wisconsin, it was joint property, and was never retired.

The curse didn't take effect immediately, sometimes curses require time to set in. The way to break the curse is to retrieve the stolen item. Some unenlightened individuals may consider this theft, but it's not stealing to recover stolen property. All the same, I would be willing to donate to the legal defense fund of anyone who liberated it (assuming they needed one, of course)

The slab can't go back to being a travelling trophy, it's place has been taken by the axe. But if the slab can be recovered, it should be taken care of by a Gopher fan until such time as it can be donated to the College Football Hall of Fame.
 

If you tell me where it is, Ill bring it back with me at the end of this weekend :)
 

According to Wikipedia, it's in the football office at Camp Randall.
 

Well I may have to scrounge the guys together and go hunting this weekend!
 

Curses make me facepalm.

But you are right. The thing is not "lost" anymore, and we won the game which it was last played for. It is ours.

Justification for violently pillaging the wisky athletic offices? Hells yeah! I expect no less from our contingent of Gold-clad faithful in Madison this weekend.
 



I'm actually pretty surprised some adventurous Goph fan hasn't tried to steal it back yet, Ocean's Eleven style.
 

ruralgopher said:
I'm actually pretty surprised some adventurous Goph fan hasn't tried to steal it back yet, Ocean's Eleven style.
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Vince Vaughn might be a Gopher fan, but I don't think either Brad Pitt or George Clooney are.
 

Wisconsin is cursed too, they lead the nation in cannibalism and zoonecrophilia, and this year, they added necrophilia to their list of Wisconsin heroes. Give back the stolen slab, and perhaps Wisconsin can end its curse.
 




The sad part is, you'd steal it, give it to the Minnesota Athletic Dept. to put back into play, and Joel Maturi would send the thing right back to Barry and apologize.
 

NateDawgUM said:
The sad part is, you'd steal it, give it to the Minnesota Athletic Dept. to put back into play, and Joel Maturi would send the thing right back to Barry and apologize.
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That's true. You would have to keep in a secret vault until he retires.
 

Yes, if we gave it back to the U, they would apologize for recovering stolen goods and give it right back. No, if the Slab of Bacon is ever liberated, it will have to remain underground, perhaps for a long time. The Keeper of the Slab can take a picture of it and anonymously post it so we can know it is in good hands.

And the Slab can remain underground until the College Football Hall of Fame agrees that this is the best place for a permanent home for it.
 



RodentRampage said:
Yes, if we gave it back to the U, they would apologize for recovering stolen goods and give it right back. No, if the Slab of Bacon is ever liberated, it will have to remain underground, perhaps for a long time. The Keeper of the Slab can take a picture of it and anonymously post it so we can know it is in good hands.

And the Slab can remain underground until the College Football Hall of Fame agrees that this is the best place for a permanent home for it.
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Why do you think it belongs in the College Football Hall of Fame? Keep it in Minnesota, or have wisky and Minny share ownership of it. Perhaps retire whatever the (cumulative athletics) Border Battle trophy is, and replace it with the Slab. Or have the Slab be held by the latest winner of the hockey or basketball series. Or something interesting.... like have the top-division high school football state champions from each state play a game every year and have them play for it.

Sorry, but simply retiring it to the College Football Hall of Fame is too boring for me.
 

What do you have against the College Football Hall of Fame? You have a really, really weird idea of what is boring. In any case, I would not be averse to the Slab being used for the Border Battle. But the Hall of Fame is a neutral location which the schools could possibly agree to.

But better to be held in secret by the Keeper of the Slab than for this stolen treasure to be in the hands of theives.
 

RodentRampage said:
What do you have against the College Football Hall of Fame? You have a really, really weird idea of what is boring. In any case, I would not be averse to the Slab being used for the Border Battle. But the Hall of Fame is a neutral location which the schools could possibly agree to.

But better to be held in secret by the Keeper of the Slab than for this stolen treasure to be in the hands of theives.
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I have nothing against the hall of fame. But in this case, the fact that it is in neither Minnesota nor wisconsin is a serious drawback.

Traveling trophies are the coolest thing in American sports because they genuinely belong to two schools, but they have to be held by only one of them. A neutral permanent place (especially one completely outside the realms of the competitors) completely defeats the idea of what makes traveling trophies special.

Because ownership is the key ingredient to what makes things like the axe, or Floyd, or the Jug awesome, we have to recognize that the two Universities' ownership of the thing trumps that of college football at large.
 

Let the Axe travel with each win. Maybe the Slab can travel and be held by the team with the overall lead in the series. Hmmm...now who would be in possession of that now? Or with the greater number of National Championships, or B10 titles.
 

Travel with the Border Battle winner is a great idea. That would get people to actually care about that series.
 

The important thing is to get the Slab back from the thieves in Wisconsin. The Slab's was replaced by the Axe, but was never retired, you need the agreement of both schools to retire a traveling trophy. Wisconsin decided to retire it unilaterally, which is theft. I like the Hall of Fame because I want the whole country to see a piece of Minnesota history. That they will also see part of Wisconsin history is irrelevant.

If the U and Wisconsin wanted to repurpose the Slab for some other travelling trophy purpose, I'm not against that. One huge advantage to the Hall of Fame is that Wisconsin can't steal it by pretending to lose it again.
 

The Badgers bragging about having the Slab is idiotic. They didn't win it. They only kept it because they refused to return it. If they want to brag about having stolen it, fine, but we should recover it and brag about it. Each time we play the Badgers, the Keeper of the Slab could take a picture of it, and post it anonymously.

The Slab would be much better displayed in the Hall of Fame where it can be seen by thousands rather than stuck in some office locked away from where it belonged. Once liberated, it would be necessary to keep it in an undisclosed location, and that is regrettable, but for the best.
 

MN is just too classy. We didn't want to play for the traveling trophy during war-time, so in turn WI steals it. Sums up the programs perfectly.
 

How about the next time we get the axe, we don't give it back when Wisconsin wins? Tell them return the Slab, and we'll give back the Axe. Sounds fair to me. If the roles were reversed, and the Slab was "found" and planed in the Minnesota offices, Wisconsin would have been blue in the face about it.

Maybe some rich Gopher fan could hire a professional thief to obtain it. Or perhaps a human wave of Gopher fans could flow through, with one of them taking it, and disappearing.
 


I think the W club created the Axe so they feel it supercedes the slab. Slab out and Ax in until Oldy McOld dies.
 

I wouldn't have let the W club make the Axe in the first place. One school could have made the handle, the other could have made the blade. That's how I would have handled it. But they may feel that the Slab was defacto retired by the introduction of the Axe, but that doesn't make it so.

This isn't Fort Knox. Liberating it isn't impossible.
 

Speaking of the location of the Bacon, does anyone know where the original Axe (retired in 2004) is kept? Maybe they should be displayed together somewhere? Or we get to have the Bacon (since we won it more) and they get the old axe (since they won it more) and whichever school wins the new axe the most will get it when it is retired?
 

FreakyDeke said:
Speaking of the location of the Bacon, does anyone know where the original Axe (retired in 2004) is kept? Maybe they should be displayed together somewhere? Or we get to have the Bacon (since we won it more) and they get the old axe (since they won it more) and whichever school wins the new axe the most will get it when it is retired?
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It's in a glass case somewhere on campus! Easy as pie, someone get it back this weekend.
 

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The original Axe is in the College Football Hall of Fame. The Slab should join it.
 

I have a feeling that if we crack that case open it may not be smooth sailing outta there. We gotta think of a good idea to get our hands on it!
 

Perhaps someone could get a job as cleaning staff under an assumed identity, replace the slab with a replica, and take the original out with the trash.

There are people who can steal multi-million dollar diamonds, the Slab should be no problem.
 

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