Coach Kill:   "You are expected to become a Gopher.   We have erected fences around the State of Minnesota keeping all of you here."
Recruit:   "But what if I am interested in going to another college out of state to play football?"
Coach Kill:   "We have to keep all of you here,   and you will have apply amnesty to another state, because GopherHolers say all of you must stay."
Recruit:   "I guess I am gonna haffta try become an illegal resident to another state then."
Coach Kill:   "Go ahead and try it.    Have you ever heard of the Berlin Wall?"
Recruit:   "Well,  how much playing time will you guarantee me?"
Coach Kill:    "I will only guarantee you an opportunity,   and given the circumstances of some injuries and eventually some of our guys graduate from the University,   spots do open up a year or two down the line."
Recruit:  "Well,   would $800,000  be asking too much then?"
Coach Kill:   "You don't have to pay us a penny.    In fact, we will give you a free education."
Recruit:   "OK,   count me in."