How do you cope with Gopher disappointment? I broaden my view to the wider B1G. You?

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FredCoxRocks said:
I know its cliche and it triggers some people, but...this is Minnesota sports. If you're letting the pain from getting kicked in the balls over and over linger, then that's on you.
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And he's here asking for help from a group of people clearly addicted to getting our balls kicked.
 

I don't know how to awnser this... I have always been way to invested emotionally.. and I am so F'N LIVID right now... still
 

I'm not disappointed.

Look: the team is constituted of many new pieces. And not just new. Different kinds of pieces.

So the situation is this: two kinds of machines can be built out of the pieces we have. One machine that is pretty much identical to last year's machine. And another machine that, frankly, is superior. PJ is building the superior machine. But it takes longer to build the superior machine, and you basically sacrifice a season getting the pieces into a functional machine.

Just enjoy watching the pieces come together. Forget wins and losses this season. If you care to look, you will see that I said this before the season even began.
 

UpAndUnder43 said:
As I get older the importance of games is diminished. They lost in a terrible fashion Saturday night. Then I took the dogs outside, did some dishes, cleaned up the kitchen and went to bed. Was up at 6am with my son to plays with cars. Life goes on.
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Yep, I'm in the exact same boat.

In my 20s, I was at the Michigan collapse and it was hard for me to sleep for days - seriously.
In my 30s, I was single without kids. It would really piss me off but I'd go out with buddies and eventually laugh it off.
I'm now 41 with two kids, and it put me in a bad mood for a little bit, by Sunday morning I was playing with my kids and hanging with my wife and the game had zero impact on me.
 

I’ve gotten better over time.

Clearly I cope by visiting this board and venting…

I’m also like, well, I have my alma mater’s football team, and they’re good. And my daughters soccer team is good. So I mean, replace gophers with them at some point.

But yeah, ship has sailed for us to win big ten west. I thought we had a shot this final year with every team but the Illini being in year zero.
 


What I've done when the gophers lose a big game, twins get swept, vikings lose a heartbreaker, etc. is try to remember the good moments the teams have given. Think of the 2019 football season and that bowl win over Auburn...think of the Minneapolis Miracle...think of the Twins game 163...the list goes on and on but sadly they aren't championship wins.

Regardless that they aren't championship wins they made me pretty damn happy in the moment.
 

I've just kept myself at arm's length as time goes on. Yes, being heavily invested brings higher highs. But also lower lows. So there's risk in turning over completely to sports. I try to find a nice balance that allows me to "get over it" by the following morning.
 

As a Viking hater, I can usually rely on the purple clowns to pierce the gloom the following day. They came through again yesterday!
 

I recoil like a snake and quit watching BTN, listening to podcasts, checking out YouTube for highlight videos, and I avoid the sky is falling threads here.

I find that I have a lot more time on my hands and I usually rediscover other interests.

I still go to the games and tailgate. But I avoid the negativity.

It’s not that I think the negativity is wrong or I am somehow above it. I actually find myself engaging in it under the wrong conditions. I’m just happier when I avoid it.
 



GopherVotary said:
As a Viking hater, I can usually rely on the purple clowns to pierce the gloom the following day. They came through again yesterday!
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It is hilarious to me that over time i've gone from being a ride-or-die Viking fan.... no when they lose or choke I legit feel nothing, and I typically laugh because I've got years of seeing this story play out.
 

How do I handle disappointment?

This time of year,
Gopher football is my go-to!
If they let me down,
Minnesota Vikings,
If they let me down,
Twins baseball!
If they let me down,
Wild pre-season Hockey (they came through)!
If they let me down I see what starts next,
Gopher basketball, Gopher hockey, Timberwolves.

And then it’s next week!

Where I will once again hope for a Minnesota Sports Weekend where all Minnesota teams win!

Been awhile since we had one of those.
 


I see 3 types of coping most often from Gopher fans

1. The type that believe the Gophers can't/won't ever compete for anything relevant so the results don't matter and/or don't surprise them. They have reasons in their head as to why Minnesota can't meet or exceed what Iowa or Wisconsin have done. I question why these people spend any of their free time watching a program they deem forever irrelevant much less claim fanhood for said program.

2. The "Deniers". These are the people that remember past seasons of Gopher football as much better than they were. These are the people that think Glen Mason's average season was like 2003 as opposed to his peak. Ask them Mason's B1G record and they would remember it as something close to .500 when it was 32-48.

3. Laughing on the outside/Crying on the inside- This is Patrick Reusse. People who care and decide to make fun of the outcomes before others can. This group seems much more common in Minnesota sports fandom than in any other fanbase I encounter (as does #1). Names like the "Goofers" or the "Viqueens" being used by people are also fans of the program has alway been really odd to me.

I don't cope well with the losses at all. Coming here is about as good an outlet as there is as really no other fanbases anywhere near us have had a similar experience in pro or college sports. Fans of Iowa/Wisconsin have seen the absoute peaks of their football and basketball programs over the last two decades. Wisconsin has a couple Super Bowls and an NBA title. If you live in the Midwest the closest thing to us would be Nebraska...if they lose for another 6-7 years. The best advice I can give is to start limiting your time invested UNTIL the Gophers give you a reason to be invested. I love basketball, but I am completely out on Gopher Basketball right now. If I have nothing going on, I might watch a game live. If I find out they actually won a game or I am really bored and/or curious about something, I'll go back and watch a game I've recorded. I am not out on Fleck, but I won't make the football Gophers a priority for the rest of the year unless they give me a reason to. I'll still be pissed if they lose to Wisconsin and really pissed if they lose to Iowa but I am not going to care about games against Lousiana/Illinois/Purdue/MSU unless/until those games have bigger stakes than simply making another minor bowl game.
 



For me, I also follow USC. So, as long as both programs are not terrible in the same week / year, it is quite easy to not get too down on things. Also, if you watch higher level program, you come into the Gopher game realizing how far away we are from ever competing at that level. Take USC and Caleb Williams as an example - we will NEVER see a guy of his caliber at Minnesota. Even if we did, he would transfer for NIL money as soon as he has any success. So, while it was great to hope to win the West, the reality is that we will never compete with the Michigans and tOSUs of the world when they are having anything but a really off year. With PJ, I am certain that trend will continue. We don't rank in the top 30 recruiting and don't have NIL money to potentially bring in transfers. So, why ever expect to crack into the top 25? If we do - great! But, be realistic at the start of the season and the results are way easier to accept without ruining your Saturday.
 

Some great thoughts & ideas here guys! Thank you for your perspectives! This is my favorite post about proper preparation for watching a Gopher game. The video is very funny, but also disturbing and painful to watch! Thanks Rescooter


Being a Minnesota sports fan reminds me of a book from Navy Seal, Brent Gleeson, called “Embrace the Suck”!!!!
 

Bob_Loblaw said:
Yep, I'm in the exact same boat.

In my 20s, I was at the Michigan collapse and it was hard for me to sleep for days - seriously.
In my 30s, I was single without kids. It would really piss me off but I'd go out with buddies and eventually laugh it off.
I'm now 41 with two kids, and it put me in a bad mood for a little bit, by Sunday morning I was playing with my kids and hanging with my wife and the game had zero impact on me.
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This is exactly where I am.

I was at the South Dakota game during the Brewster days and I was a mess the whole week.

Now have two kids myself. Was pissed off Saturday night but then woke up Sunday and enjoyed my time with the family.
 


csom_1991 said:
For me, I also follow USC. So, as long as both programs are not terrible in the same week / year, it is quite easy to not get too down on things. Also, if you watch higher level program, you come into the Gopher game realizing how far away we are from ever competing at that level. Take USC and Caleb Williams as an example - we will NEVER see a guy of his caliber at Minnesota. Even if we did, he would transfer for NIL money as soon as he has any success. So, while it was great to hope to win the West, the reality is that we will never compete with the Michigans and tOSUs of the world when they are having anything but a really off year. With PJ, I am certain that trend will continue. We don't rank in the top 30 recruiting and don't have NIL money to potentially bring in transfers. So, why ever expect to crack into the top 25? If we do - great! But, be realistic at the start of the season and the results are way easier to accept without ruining your Saturday.
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I am a Tulane fan in addition to the gophers.

That’s what makes the Gophers frustrating.

Tulane beat USC with aggressive, creative offense and defense. They gave themselves the best chance to win that game and ended up pulling it off.

Same thing would have happened this year with Ole Miss had we not been playing our second string QB who missed a few wide open touchdowns when players got free in creative plays.

Anyway, I’d add watching creative/aggressive teams to your sentence: “if you watch higher level program, you come into the Gopher game realizing how far away we are from ever competing at that level.”
 

Recognize that it's a game. It's not open heart surgery where the outcome can influence a family forever. After a game, even a game with unfortunate injuries the bulk of which players recover from, the sun comes up the next day. Faith and family. Your job. Your interests should kick in.
 

I am not a Vikings fan at all so when they lose there is some solace. In reality I thought the Gophers would go 7-5 this year, still a chance for that but I was without a doubt counting Northwestern as a win. Assuming we win on Saturday, need to find 4 wins, which I think is going to be tough, but possible. I do think AK will get better as the year goes on.
 

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