Dr. Gopherstein - Building the Perfect Minnesota Football Coach

[Otis]

This is a simple exercise. Give Dr. Goldy the best parts of all the Gopher coaches in the areas I'm about to lay out for you to choose from and build the best possible Gopherstein coach possible using the best we've ever had in each of the areas!

Recruiting
Motivation
Offensive coaching
Defensive coaching
Game-Day execution
Post-Game interviews
Press Conferences Quotables

Then we will know what the Gopher coaching monster would look like!

 

[Otis]

My choices are:

Recruiting: Going to have to go with PJ. I haven't enough lifespan to go back far enough to see anyone out recruit PJ! Maybe the Golden Domer could have been the best, but he certainly never did it while he was here. So PJ wins!

Motivation: Hmmm... PJ or Lou? It's got to be one of these two guys. Elite or "He's just an outstanding young man with outstanding character!" Both of these guys seemed to have the entire state behind them ready to charge ahead and you can't really go wrong with either one. But one of them never left us at the dance for another girl. I'm taking PJ!

Offensive Coaching: We have had some pretty good offensive coaches! PJ (but is it his OC?), Wacker, and Mason. I'm going to go with Mason, he put up some pretty historic offensive numbers! Too bad he sucked horribly at the next part! Mason is my choice here.

Defensive Coaching: Kill. The name. The attitude. The whole idea. He was basically all about defense. I'm going with good old Jerry. The only other real choice is Claeys and he has no business being a head coach.

Game Day execution: This is really hard. I do not and have not really ever noticed a Minnesota coach who could really make Belicheck like adjustments and just roll after half-time. The only one who I ever noticed make significant changes with results without deer in the headlights looks is Lou Holtz. So my choice here is Lou.

Post Game Interviews: You know I want to pick Jerry Burns of the Vikings here for his 45 F word melt down post game interview, but alas, he's not an option. PJ and Lou, have the best personalities, the best schticks, and the best abilities to back it up. I guess I like my post game interviews elite! I'm picking PJ!

Quotables: This category is just here for you guys to attach some of your favorites! Brewster had some good ones. Wacker had occasional wittiness and so did Mason. Smokey Joe liked to rip out some cuss word laced tirades if I remember correctly. So I'm picking Smokey Joe Salem! Maybe just because I like his name.

Recruiting: PJ
Motivation: PJ
Offense: Mason
Defense: Kill
Game-Day: Holtz
Post-Game: PJ
Quotables: Smokey Joe

 

[WinLoseOrTy]

Offensive Coaching: We have had some pretty good offensive coaches! PJ (but is it his OC?), Wacker, and Mason. I'm going to go with Wacker, he put up some pretty historic offensive numbers! Too bad he sucked horribly at the next part! Wacker is my choice here.

History remembers Wacker more fondly in this area, perhaps fueled by the legendary 59-56 win over Purdue in 1993.

His scoring offense and ranks over his tenure.
1992 - 18.2 (85th)
1993 - 23.0 (61st)
1994 - 23.3 (60th)
1995 - 24.7 (53rd)
1996 - 21.5 (76th)

Mason had two Top 10 ranked offenses (2003, 2005). Think its gotta be him or Fleck.

 

[Otis]

History remembers Wacker more fondly in this area, perhaps fueled by the legendary 59-56 win over Purdue in 1993.

His scoring offense and ranks over his tenure.
1992 - 18.2 (85th)
1993 - 23.0 (61st)
1994 - 23.3 (60th)
1995 - 24.7 (53rd)
1996 - 21.5 (76th)

Mason had two Top 10 ranked offenses (2003, 2005). Think its gotta be him or Fleck.

OOps! Got my Mason and my Wacker years bassackwards there! Fixed it! Thanks!

 

[fmlizard]

Recruiting: Bernie Bierman (produced most CFB Hall of Famers, overall success)
Motivation: Henry Williams (there was no glory, scholarships, or TV, just run-through-a-wall spirit in a sport that was killing people)
Offense: Henry Williams (PJ's got too much class to drop 146 on Rutgers)
Defense: Henry Williams (shut out the vast majority of opponents)
Gameday: Tim Brewster (who else to get our chili hot?)
Postgame: PJ (other coaches lost too much or only got one line in the paper)
Quotable: PJ (the man of 1000 sayings. Wes Fesler probably would have been a gas on Twitter)

 

[Gophers7NatTitlesBadgers0]

My choices are:

Recruiting: Going to have to go with PJ. I haven't enough lifespan to go back far enough to see anyone out recruit PJ! Maybe the Golden Domer could have been the best, but he certainly never did it while he was here. So PJ wins!

Motivation: Hmmm... PJ or Lou? It's got to be one of these two guys. Elite or "He's just an outstanding young man with outstanding character!" Both of these guys seemed to have the entire state behind them ready to charge ahead and you can't really go wrong with either one. But one of them never left us at the dance for another girl. I'm taking PJ!

Offensive Coaching: We have had some pretty good offensive coaches! PJ (but is it his OC?), Wacker, and Mason. I'm going to go with Mason, he put up some pretty historic offensive numbers! Too bad he sucked horribly at the next part! Mason is my choice here.

Defensive Coaching: Kill. The name. The attitude. The whole idea. He was basically all about defense. I'm going with good old Jerry. The only other real choice is Claeys and he has no business being a head coach.

Game Day execution: This is really hard. I do not and have not really ever noticed a Minnesota coach who could really make Belicheck like adjustments and just roll after half-time. The only one who I ever noticed make significant changes with results without deer in the headlights looks is Lou Holtz. So my choice here is Lou.

Post Game Interviews: You know I want to pick Jerry Burns of the Vikings here for his 45 F word melt down post game interview, but alas, he's not an option. PJ and Lou, have the best personalities, the best schticks, and the best abilities to back it up. I guess I like my post game interviews elite! I'm picking PJ!

Quotables: This category is just here for you guys to attach some of your favorites! Brewster had some good ones. Wacker had occasional wittiness and so did Mason. Smokey Joe liked to rip out some cuss word laced tirades if I remember correctly. So I'm picking Smokey Joe Salem! Maybe just because I like his name.

Recruiting: PJ
Motivation: PJ
Offense: Mason
Defense: Kill
Game-Day: Holtz
Post-Game: PJ
Quotables: Smokey Joe

Agree until the last one. Have to go with Brewster!

 

[Go4]

the one area you're missing is a coach who turns boys into men. ol' jer' had that. he turned boys into men and football was his vehicle. he was a ball coach, it's who he is, it's in his blood. not all coaches are ball coaches in the way ol' jer' is. but it's who he is, it's in his blood. x's and o's are great too and recruiting.

 

[MNVCGUY]

This is a simple exercise. Give Dr. Goldy the best parts of all the Gopher coaches in the areas I'm about to lay out for you to choose from and build the best possible Gopherstein coach possible using the best we've ever had in each of the areas!

Recruiting
Motivation
Offensive coaching
Defensive coaching
Game-Day execution
Post-Game interviews
Press Conferences Quotables

Then we will know what the Gopher coaching monster would look like!

Will assume we are only using head coaches and for my purposes will only include head coaches I am at least somewhat familiar with in my lifetime which would be Holtz, Gutey, Wacker, Mason, Brewster, Horton, Kill, Claeys, and Fleck.

Recruiting - Fleck by a mile
Motivation - Holtz or Fleck
Offense - Mason for the Run game, Fleck for the passing game. If I had to pick just one - Fleck
Defense - Claeys
Game-Day Execution - Fleck
Post-Game Interview - Fleck
Press Conference Quotables - Brewster or Wacker