Brooster considering retiring.

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Schnoodler

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Head fooseball coach of the Minnesota golden goopheys is considering retiring. In an interview yesterday he said, "I really don't want to, but apparently it's for the physical well being or our less than masculine fan base".

Apparently the difficulty in building a program is a bit too stressful for those fans and there is an epidemic of sore manginas. According to Brooster he was told if they get their panties too bound up it can cause damage to the mangina area. Brooster went on to say, "I didn't even know there was such a thing!" But he says it is real, and the only real cure is rest, refraining from getting to worked up about things you can't really control, and to see a specialist.

He furthur goes on to say it's a good idea for those aflicted to go to a good guy-a-cologist. He's pretty sure they can straighten you out. "yeah, I guess they have to actually manipulate your testiculars and put them in the right position again, if they can even find them. If they can get it right it will even look like you have a pair."

Brooster is unsure what he's going to do. He says he can sympathize, after all, he loves fooseball too. "It's just too bad they let the condition go so long but I can understand how it can happen, after all it's hard to get a good look at your own stuff, and he's pretty sure these guys don't have anyone else looking for them seeing as how most of them live in their parents basements".

"poor sissy bastards, I really feel for them", Brooster continues, "I guess I just don't know what I should do."
 

This Makes Sense

Schnoodler said:
Head fooseball coach of the Minnesota golden goopheys is considering retiring. In an interview yesterday he said, "I really don't want to, but apparently it's for the physical well being or our less than masculine fan base".

Apparently the difficulty in building a program is a bit too stressful for those fans and there is an epidemic of sore manginas. According to Brooster he was told if they get their panties too bound up it can cause damage to the mangina area. Brooster went on to say, "I didn't even know there was such a thing!" But he says it real, and the only real cure is rest, refraining from getting to worked up about things you can't really control, and to see a specialist.

He furthur goes on to say it's a good idea for those aflicted to go to a good guy-a-cologist. He's pretty sure they can straighten you out. "yeah, I guess they have to actually manipulate your testiculars and put them in the right position again, if they can even find them. If they can get it right it will even look like you have a pair."

Brooster is unsure what he's going to do. He says he can sympathize, after all, he loves fooseball too. "It's just too bad they let the condition go so long but I can understand how it can happen, after all it's hard to get a good look at your own stuff, and he's pretty sure these guys don't have anyone else looking for them seeing as how most of them live in their parents basements".

"poor sissy bastards, I really feel for them", Brooster continues, "I guess I just don't know what I should do."
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This makes perfect sense. Most perceptive post of the year.
 

I wasn't aware that losing to two I-AA schools, and struggling with a couple other I-AA schools was part of building a program. I wasn't aware that losing to a I-AA school in year 4 was a sign of progress.

All this talk about "unmanliness" reminds me of the book "Real men don't eat quiche". It was a humor book, but people took it seriously. Overnight, quiche went from a food you ate if you liked, and didn't eat if you didn't like it, to one where people were scared to eat even if you liked it for fear that someone would think that you were "unmanly". A real man would eat quiche if he feels like it. Shaping your life around what someone else thinks is unmanly is itself pretty unmanly.
 

You might want to stand up and adjust a bit there Rodent.
 





gophmeister said:
Is this a pro Brewster post or an anti Brewster post?
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I take it as a pro Brewster post and anyone that criticizes the current state of the program is just a whiny baby who still has not allowed enough time for Brewster to coach up this team. Apparently, doing progressively worse season after season is considered "building a program." Based on the post, next year when we don't win a game with Brewster (not that I expect him to be here next season) that will be the pinnacle of his rebuilding and we can look forward to a nothing but Rose Bowl trips in the years to come.
 

I really got my hopes up when I started reading this.
 



I love quiche, I think Brewster is an okay head coach, and I see a marked improvement in the Gophers personnel-wise.

Only a panic-stricken moron (or an Iowan) would look at the Gophers' records since Brewster's first year and believe they're getting worse every year. The first year of the Brewster era was an unmitigated disaster, but they've improved since then.

If we keep our knickers untwisted for the duration of this destined-to-be-frustrating season I'm convinced we'll see the Gophs win 8 or 9 games next year with good talent at nearly every position and the same OC pulling the strings two seasons in a row

Then I'll laugh at the unbelievers.
 

That was a tremendous initial post and I could not be more pleased. Schnoodler typed his heart out.
 





Sometimes being a gopher fan is alot like getting a lobotomy.
 


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