Apparently, some of us believe the line is very wide and a great deal of latitude should be given coaches even when apparent mental illness stares them in the face. Either the family label holds or it is false. Would a family member just let AJ or any other player disintegrate in front of them or would there be more compassion. When I think of family, I think of compassion. The most favorable alleviator of stress is the influence of parental figures when seen positively. The worst stressful situation is when a parent acts negatively during depression or anxiety. So, if the coaches are trying to associate themselves with the players as a football family, they need to pay close attention to the mental health of their players or real damage can occur. I would say separation from the team is significant damage. With a family, separation is an act of desperation. At what point would you say the coaches were out of line when the final relationship ends with a player in definite need of support? We heard so often that "this is football" or "what does this have to do with coaching?" a view that negates responsibility outright. We don't pay the coaches big money to ignore the safety of the players. In fact we have physicians who are available to look after the players, including mental health. I don't think we can just give the staff a free pass on Barker because it is a "game" and the coaches "are not parents".
I don't disagree with any of this actually. My point is that the program is run probably like every other major program in the country. At what point was AJ diagnosed as having all of these problems? I've stopped following this, but on what are you basing your diagnosis now? Sorry, I don't expect a staff to have a psychiatrist whose job it is to analyze the behavior of a player who isn't following the program. Kill dealt with him like a football coach who wasn't dealing with an injury the way he was supposed to. Some people are saying he should have done it differently based on a lot of hindsight, second-guessing, conjecture, and Dr. Phil psychology used from afar.
IMO, Kill also shouldn't be criticized for actions after AJ left the team. Very dramatic to now label it, "an act of desperation." People with issues burn their bridges all the time and it doesn't set off interventions and soul-searchings. The kid doesn't follow team rules, is pissed about not getting a scholarship, evidently wasn't shy about expressing his opinions, and now writes a letter trying to humiliate a coach in as public a way as he can. Very, very few coaches would say, "This is a cry for help. We've got to do something." Easy again to say Kill's getting paid big bucks and there are physicians to look after players and safety was ignored. In that environment with what Kill was seeing at the time both before and after the letter I simply don't think Kill did anything wrong. Incidentally, since you bring up family, what did AJ's do during this time? If he is in need, wouldn't you think, in today's media, we would be hearing of their concerns. All I know about them is that Mom has a best friend.
I get it filtered through the media, but Kill comes across as a coach who does care about his players. It's a form of "tough love" at times, but it seems to be pretty effective looking at graduation rates, classroom performance, arrest rates, number of embarrassing incidents, players' testimonies, etc.
