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Sorry I've been away from the interwebs Gopher fans. I've been attending to my sickly grandmother the past few days. You may think I haven't been able to man-up and take my comeuppance after my Badgers finally let down their guard and allowed the Gopherfootball program a tiny slice of joy...

Greetings you goofy Golden Gopher football zealots. Yes, it is I, Detlef of House Erlichmann and proprietor of the Essen Haus restaurant in Madison, returning for the yearly online titty twist to remind you that your moribund football team will once again succumb this coming Saturday to the...

History repeats itself, first as a tragedy, second as a farce. - Karl Marx The above quote by my fellow countryman is so apropos given the imminence of yet another Badger football win as the Gophers continue to Row the Titantic on this disaster of a season. 59-59-8 That is the...

Yes, it's time once again. It is I, Detlef Erlichmann, owner and chief barkeep at the Essen Haus in Madison and home to the Upper Midwests most famous beer hall if I don't say so myself. Let us start out this message with a bit of a language lesson. Douzaine Docena Dutzend Dusin Dussin...

Hey Axe-holes, it's stein time! Yes, tis I, Detlef Erlichmann, the owner and proprietor of the Essen Haus in Madison. I dutifully return to this obscure portal of the interwebs to make my annual plea to the dwindling Gopher masses. In case you are new to the lost cause that is Gopher football...

Guten Abend! Yes, it's me again - Detlef Erlichmann of the famous Essen Haus in Madison, Wisconsin. What say you there, fuzzy-britches? Got your undies in a bunch, do ya? Someones got an Axe and they're not gonna share it with you, huh? Tough greasy grimey gopher guts sports fans as now you...

Yes, Detlef is back, again, for the 2013 edition of what has become an annual GopherHole tradition of beckoning for the return of a most treasured Erlichmann artifact - the stolen Essen Haus 5 liter stein. Pleas, demands, even groveling, kindness, gratitude, offerings of beer, none of these...

Yes, tis I, Detleff Erlichmann once again, proprietor of the Essen Haus in Madison, where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. Also home of the largest beer steins in the Big 10 Conference. As you know the annual bludgeoning of your University of Minnesota...

Once again it has come to this. I, Detlef Erlichmann, proprietor of the storied Essen Haus in Madison, Wisconsin do so ardently request the return of my family's treasured 5 liter stein. For those of you new to the internet here is a synposis of my long-standing demands placed upon the...

Yes, it is I, Detlef Erlichmann, proprietor of the Essen Haus in Madison and staunch supporter of Badger football with my annual placitum for the return of the precious 5 Liter stein that was pilfered from my establishment on the evening of November 5, 2004 by a Gopher football fan. Why should...

It is I, Detlef of the Essen Haus, who has found his way to this little corner of Gopher geekdom to bring forth my family's annual decree. For those of you who do not recall my lore with regards to the longest consecutive rivalry in Divison 1 football here is a refresher...