4th and 3rd grade traveling basketball, parents think their kids will be Gophers

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I can vouch for that.

Recently went to one of my 5th-grade nephew's traveling tournament games (Wayzata vs. Hopkins), and I swear half the parents think their kids are headed for a DI scholarship. Never mind that a good share of 'em could barely walk and chew gum at the same time, let alone know how to dribble a basketball, how to make the simple, correct pass, etc.
 

In my short-lived stand up comedy career, I talked about refereeing an in-house basketball league. I hit those parents hard. Always got a laugh.
 

I'm not sure that is any different than a parent hoping their kid grows up to be a doctor or anything else. Most parents want their kids to be happy and successful. Certainly thre are more than a few parents out there that take it to an unhealthy extreme by pushing their kids too much, berating coaches, or getting into fights with other fans - that is sad. Dreaming about your kids happiness and success no matter how that is defined is good.
 

SelectionSunday said:
I can vouch for that.

Recently went to one of my 5th-grade nephew's traveling tournament games (Wayzata vs. Hopkins), and I swear half the parents think their kids are headed for a DI scholarship. Never mind that a good share of 'em could barely walk and chew gum at the same time, let alone know how to dribble a basketball, how to make the simple, correct pass, etc.
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I wish I knew what grade for sure, but I believe it was a 5th grade Hopkins game I saw a little bit of... their coach was nutz.
 



Not just the parents are at fault. Some of the coaches of these kids think they are the second coming of Bobby Knight.
 

SelectionSunday said:
Was it Sunday afternoon?
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It was earlier in the year, but I just did a quick search and it looks like you probably saw the same fella, either coaching your nephew or coaching the opposing team. Don't want to rip anyone, or take personal shots but he was over the top that day.
 

HOOP DREAMS said:
It was earlier in the year, but I just did a quick search and it looks like you probably saw the same fella, either coaching your nephew or coaching the opposing team. Don't want to rip anyone, or take personal shots but he was over the top that day.
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Opposing team (Hopkins). Was he wearing cowboy boots? If that's the guy he wasn't too bad Sunday, but he did a little too much complaining to the refs considering it was a fifth-grade game & the refs could have called traveling or a foul on about every single possession. Thankfully, they didn't.
 



last week, small town Wisconsin, 6th grade girls scrimmage, Grandpa comes out of the stands and chokes an 18 year old ref. No long term physical damage done but good luck getting that kid to do any more volunteer reffing. And good luck to the 6th grade granddaughter working this episode out in therapy
 

Dr.Don said:
Not just the parents are at fault. Some of the coaches of these kids think they are the second coming of Bobby Knight.
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I've seen that, too, Doc, but for the most part, these coaches are generous, selfless and take far more grief than they deserve from the peanut gallery of parents, has beens or never weres.

From my perch, not enough parents appreciate and encourage non athletic talent in their kids and there are an awful lot of kids who are in sports because of mom and dad and not their own fun and development.

It's too bad the exceptions to the rule define the perception of the rest mostly good people involved in youth sports.
 

watertown 1987 guy n said:
I'm not sure that is any different than a parent hoping their kid grows up to be a doctor or anything else. Most parents want their kids to be happy and successful. Certainly thre are more than a few parents out there that take it to an unhealthy extreme by pushing their kids too much, berating coaches, or getting into fights with other fans - that is sad. Dreaming about your kids happiness and success no matter how that is defined is good.
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Lots of youth traveling doctor's league where the kids are scheduled all week with practice and competitive surgeries?
 

SelectionSunday said:
Opposing team (Hopkins). Was he wearing cowboy boots? If that's the guy he wasn't too bad Sunday, but he did a little too much complaining to the refs considering it was a fifth-grade game & the refs could have called traveling or a foul on about every single possession. Thankfully, they didn't.
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Haha, cowboy boots? That is not right.

PM'd ya.
 



Holy Man said:
I've seen that, too, Doc, but for the most part, these coaches are generous, selfless and take far more grief than they deserve from the peanut gallery of parents, has beens or never weres.

From my perch, not enough parents appreciate and encourage non athletic talent in their kids and there are an awful lot of kids who are in sports because of mom and dad and not their own fun and development.
I
It's too bad the exceptions to the rule define the perception of the rest mostly good people involved in youth sports.
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You are absolutely correct. I was reffing a JR HIGH TOURNAMENT one time, and as you say, volunteering. One parent, a mother at that, came out on the floor yelling at me like a banshee. I stopped the game as a forfeit, went to the AD, said I'm done, I will never help you out again. He saw it all, and could only reply, "I don't blame you."
 

Dr.Don said:
You are absolutely correct. I was reffing a JR HIGH TOURNAMENT one time, and as you say, volunteering. One parent, a mother at that, came out on the floor yelling at me like a banshee. I stopped the game as a forfeit, went to the AD, said I'm done, I will never help you out again. He saw it all, and could only reply, "I don't blame you."
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Quitter!
 

You gotta feel sorry for the tall boy or girl who all they hear in elementary, middle and high school is "You're tall, you should go out for the basketball team" So often times they do, and then you see them - the frustrated "I don't want to be here" player that is only doing it because their gym teacher, or math teacher or every other adult around them told them they should play basketball. What if the kid just wanted to play trombone in the band, take up art, or ride his skateboard with the rest of his friends?
 

Any good 4th graders this year? Is it time to start an all things 2023 recruiting thread?!?
 

watertown 1987 guy n said:
I'm not sure that is any different than a parent hoping their kid grows up to be a doctor or anything else. Most parents want their kids to be happy and successful. Certainly thre are more than a few parents out there that take it to an unhealthy extreme by pushing their kids too much, berating coaches, or getting into fights with other fans - that is sad. Dreaming about your kids happiness and success no matter how that is defined is good.
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There's a difference between dreaming about your kid's happiness and success and asking 3rd and 4th graders to run themselves ragged chasing a pipe dream. Do 3rd and 4th graders even know what they want to do with their lives? The real problem with youth sports today is the number of parents who are trying to relive their own youth and stroke their own egos. Most of the time it has little to do with the happiness of the kid.
 

watertown 1987 guy n said:
I'm not sure that is any different than a parent hoping their kid grows up to be a doctor or anything else. Most parents want their kids to be happy and successful. Certainly thre are more than a few parents out there that take it to an unhealthy extreme by pushing their kids too much, berating coaches, or getting into fights with other fans - that is sad. Dreaming about your kids happiness and success no matter how that is defined is good.
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It's completely different. Literally anybody who is willing and able to put in the time and effort can be a doctor. Well over 99.9% of the population will never be Big Ten scholarship basketball players, regardless of the time and effort they put into it. Encouraging your kids to dream big is great, but being unrealistic about the possibilities does everyone a disservice.
 

Youth sports has gotten really out of hand. I think we peaked about 5-10 years ago in terms of balancing competition with the rest of a kids childhood.

It's kind of sad how much of the average kids life revolves around sports activities. There are so many other things to do, but so many of them spend 3-4 nights a week at basketball/hockey/soccer practice.
 

I think one of the most distressing things is how a number of these youth coaches care more about winning than teaching these kids fundamentals and sportsmanship. I remember watching a 7th grade B-team baseball game a few years ago where the visitors catcher couldn't throw the ball accurately at all. The home coach had his players steal ever base possible. It was literally like watching a merry-go-round, a kid would get on first, steal second on the first pitch, steal third on the second pitch, and then score on a pass ball or hit. The game lasted about two innings before the mercy rule kicked in. It was painful to watch and I don't know what was accomplished, other than humiliating a 12 year old kid whose arm wasn't good enough to throw out runners yet. Beating a team in basketball 27-8 using a full court press against 10 year olds sounds pretty similar to me. I agree with Dr. Don, if you want to show off how great of a basketball strategist you are, move up to high school, where players and coaches may actually be able to counter your moves. Or you know...post to Gopherhole like the rest of us do:p
 

There was a parent on my son's 3rd grade team last season who was honestly telling us that he expected his son to play at Duke after high school. The parent would constantly coach his kid from the stands and his son would turn to his dad whenever something bad or good happened on the court, looking to see what his dad thought. It was one of the saddest things I've seen. My prediction is that the kid gives up basketball by 8th grade.
 

40 games sounds really excessive. Plus it is sad to see them cut 15 of the 44 fourth graders who wanted to come out and play and learn the game. A twon the size of Edina can only put 29 kids out on a booster basketball court?
 

dpodoll68 said:
It's completely different. Literally anybody who is willing and able to put in the time and effort can be a doctor. Well over 99.9% of the population will never be Big Ten scholarship basketball players, regardless of the time and effort they put into it. Encouraging your kids to dream big is great, but being unrealistic about the possibilities does everyone a disservice.
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+1. Couldn't have said it better.
 

That Was Fun said:
+1. Couldn't have said it better.
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I'm glad to see nobody missunderstood my comment, I will never defend the parent/coach that is a detriment to the development of the kid. To your point that it is a disservice to everyone becasue of the "odds" of playing college basketball - I do not agree with. I freely admit that I pushed my sons to play competitive basketball, (soccer, baseball, etc) - the reason, I believe competitve sports gave me and would give my sons exceptional life lessons about personal motivation, discipline, team work, etc. Anyone that disputs that it can provide those benefits was never in competive team sports. Was it all positive for my boys, no. One in particular had one or two coaches that were real zealots. Was the overall experience good, that's an unequivocal yes. My son dreaming about playing for the Gophers when he was in middle school has not in the least been a diservice to him or anyone else. I never dissuaded any of their dreams out of fear of the "possibilities". In the later high school years, the dreams did evolved but the life leasons about personal effort, commitment and goal setting are still very present. Since your so focused on the doctor reference and anyone can do it, would you discourage a kid from dreaming about being an astronaut and fly to the moon? - the odds of playing college ball are better! I doubt if you would rip a parent for sending a kid to astronaut camp and getting a pilots license. If I may suggest, we can probably agree that dreaming is good, no matter the odds, what is rightly in question is the type of emotiional energy that parents put behind it.
 


XMan said:
40 games sounds really excessive. Plus it is sad to see them cut 15 of the 44 fourth graders who wanted to come out and play and learn the game. A twon the size of Edina can only put 29 kids out on a booster basketball court?
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If coaches were available they would have added more teams.
 

XMan said:
40 games sounds really excessive. Plus it is sad to see them cut 15 of the 44 fourth graders who wanted to come out and play and learn the game. A twon the size of Edina can only put 29 kids out on a booster basketball court?
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40 games is excessive, no way to see it any other way, it would almost be like a job, I imagine pickup games have gone by the wayside with that many organised games.
 

Officials before the game should (have to) announce that they will take no guff from the stands, etc.. or they will be thrown out. (easier said than done I guess)
 

not to turn it into book club with another suggestion, but here is a book that should be mandatory reading for every parent when their kid starts playing.

http://www.basketcasesbook.com/

We had Derek come over and speak to our youth parents in an attempt to head off some parents that we knew from T-ball that would be trouble, but we really should have made it mandatory attendance because the parents that didn't need it showed up and not all of the parents that really needed it.
 

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