You missed a key adjective; mom's couch. We all know Ruppie still lives on his poor old mommy's couch! And I will, in fact, be following the team in person as they play in the NCAA Tournament as me and my buddies do every year. You know... one of the perks of having a UW Degree and a decent job. You planning on following the gophs through the NIT?
I also don't see the irony in the first part... I am encouraging Ruppie to come back and visit Buckyville. Come on, I know they teach reading comprehension and vocabulary even at that safety school of yours up in Paris on the Mississippi!