Will the Minnesota Golden Gophers finally turn some heads in 2025?

BleedGopher

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Per Austin:

Therefore, I’ve decided to take a look at their 2025 campaign trail in hopes of discovering whether they will finally break through to the masses this fall. Let’s analyze all of it together, shall we?

The Golden Gophers will waste no time winning our hearts​

Minnesota gets its three non-conference opponents over with right away, hosting Buffalo and Northwestern State before making a trip to California to take on the Golden Bears. With how the Bulls and Bears did last year, they’re not total pushovers, but they should nonetheless fall at the Gophers’ hands, giving us an encouraging 3-0 tally as we enter league play.

Luckily for them, that begins on a relatively comfortable note as well, as the first four games are Rutgers, at Ohio State, Purdue, and Nebraska. Sure, a loss to the Buckeyes feels like a guarantee, but three homefield matchups with squads that finished 2024 mediocre or worse does a lot to soften the blow.

That has Minnesota still with just one loss on the year, and it’s to the defending champs in enemy territory? That’ll be sure to have the Golden Gophers sitting amongst the playoff hopefuls as they continue into the second half of their season. Not bad.

Unfortunately, things are not nearly as simple from there​

Yeah, perhaps I spoke too soon, as after Nebraska comes a set of matchups so contrasting that it could almost give you whiplash—and it all starts with a stroll into Kinnick Stadium to take on Iowa.

We already know that the Hawkeyes, too, are known for being consistently scrappy, but they seem to maximize that with their home environment better than just about anyone else in the country, and I don’t see a world where such a gift doesn’t snatch Minnesota’s head straight out of the clouds with a disorienting defeat.

The Golden Gophers then catch a break back in Minneapolis thanks to a struggling Michigan State, before traveling to Oregon off a bye week. I don’t think I have to explain why I see them going 1-1 through that pair, nor do I feel the need to do so for why I have them beating Northwestern right after it.

That leaves us Wisconsin, the last foe of the regular season, and it does deserve some extra discussion, as it and Minnesota make for one of college football’s greatest rivalries: The Battle for Paul Bunyan’s Axe.

Facing Wisconsin is rarely an easy gig, and 2025 will remind us of that​

This rivalry is so special because it’s been played over 130 times and the teams are still neck-at-neck. However, while the all-time count is equal, Minnesota has had a visible edge over the past few years or so. What does that mean heading into this year’s meeting? Well, it would probably convince most people to side with the Gophers, but me? I'm tempted to do the opposite.

Think about it: This rivalry is famous for its competitiveness, so if one of these teams appears to be getting too big for its britches, certainly the other will have what it takes to restore some of the order, right? You don’t have a rivalry like this one if not.

And yeah, people could perhaps refer to the Wisconsin squads of 15 years ago, or even the Minnesota squads of 90 years ago as counterarguments, but unless you think this current era of Golden Gophers football is good enough to go on a tear like those guys did, I don’t know if I’d make that move.

But don’t worry, I don’t think the Badgers will win by a ton; I simply view them as a bunch with nowhere to go but up, that will bring their all to hit the postseason loud, and maybe to clinch a winning record. Either way, they’ll be locking in Minnesota’s regular-season final at 8-4. A good run, but will it be good enough to finally make a splash into the Big Ten spotlight? Recent history has shown us it won’t.


Go Gophers!!
 




If everything were to go right, does 10-2 land a spot in the playoffs?
If we compete well in losses at Ohio State and Oregon, I think we are in the playoffs at 10-2. If we upset Oregon and get beat by Ohio State & Iowa, I don't think we will be in the playoffs at 10-2. It sure would be fun to find out. A lot of things would have to go well for us to be in that position but you just never know.
 


If we compete well in losses at Ohio State and Oregon, I think we are in the playoffs at 10-2. If we upset Oregon and get beat by Ohio State & Iowa, I don't think we will be in the playoffs at 10-2. It sure would be fun to find out. A lot of things would have to go well for us to be in that position but you just never know.
I'm thinking of the scenario where we lose to OSU & Oregon--- but may have no wins in top 25.
 






I asked AI to explain what happens every year. Scary how AI has us pegged. Let’s just say we are all a bit like Gary.

A new Gophers football season was on the horizon, and the air was thick with the usual mix of optimism and... well, maybe just plain delusion. Fans, fueled by the off-season hype machine and a healthy dose of wishful thinking, were already dreaming of a perfect season, a Big Ten championship, and maybe even a trip to the moon on a Gopher-themed rocket.
They talked about the talent on the roster, the potential of the new quarterback, and the strategic brilliance of the coaching staff, whose every utterance was scrutinized for signs of championship prophecy.
One particularly fervent fan, let's call him Gary, spent his entire summer crafting a massive banner that read: "GOPHERS: UNDEFEATED DESTINY." He polished his maroon and gold helmet (complete with a light-up Gopher head) daily and practiced his "Row the Boat" chant until his voice was hoarse.
The season opener arrived. Gary, draped in his glorious banner, sat in the stands, eyes gleaming with expectation. The Gophers took the field, and... well, let's just say the opponent, a team that normally only played in exhibitions against local high schools, seemed to have learned a new trick or two. Suddenly, the Gophers' plays looked less like offensive prowess and more like a squirrel trying to cross a six-lane highway.
Gary's banner, "GOPHERS: UNDEFEATED DESTINY," seemed to wilt in the humid August air. The game ended in a loss, a rather decisive one, leaving Gary and many others contemplating their life choices that led them to become Gopher fans. But hey, there was always next season, right? The promise of "potential" and "developing talent" would be there to greet them, like a stubborn weed in a well-manicured lawn, just waiting to sprout again.
 

I asked AI to explain what happens every year. Scary how AI has us pegged. Let’s just say we are all a bit like Gary.

A new Gophers football season was on the horizon, and the air was thick with the usual mix of optimism and... well, maybe just plain delusion. Fans, fueled by the off-season hype machine and a healthy dose of wishful thinking, were already dreaming of a perfect season, a Big Ten championship, and maybe even a trip to the moon on a Gopher-themed rocket.
They talked about the talent on the roster, the potential of the new quarterback, and the strategic brilliance of the coaching staff, whose every utterance was scrutinized for signs of championship prophecy.
One particularly fervent fan, let's call him Gary, spent his entire summer crafting a massive banner that read: "GOPHERS: UNDEFEATED DESTINY." He polished his maroon and gold helmet (complete with a light-up Gopher head) daily and practiced his "Row the Boat" chant until his voice was hoarse.
The season opener arrived. Gary, draped in his glorious banner, sat in the stands, eyes gleaming with expectation. The Gophers took the field, and... well, let's just say the opponent, a team that normally only played in exhibitions against local high schools, seemed to have learned a new trick or two. Suddenly, the Gophers' plays looked less like offensive prowess and more like a squirrel trying to cross a six-lane highway.
Gary's banner, "GOPHERS: UNDEFEATED DESTINY," seemed to wilt in the humid August air. The game ended in a loss, a rather decisive one, leaving Gary and many others contemplating their life choices that led them to become Gopher fans. But hey, there was always next season, right? The promise of "potential" and "developing talent" would be there to greet them, like a stubborn weed in a well-manicured lawn, just waiting to sprout again.
Who fed Buckyville into the AI training data?
 





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