The headline in the Sunday sports section will read?...

[BleedGopher]

Smith Runs for 175 Yards as Gophers Dominate Sycamores

Go Gophers!!

 

[PMWinSTP]

On the Sports front page, anyway...Twins another loss closer to 100.

 

[A_Slab_of_Bacon]

Headline:

Something something Jacob Wetterling...

Then the sports page:

Vikings Vikings Vikings

Twins suck

Some other sports we occasionally think about

Wrestling coach

Oh yeah the other gophers....

 

[GoldenRodents]

Front Page

Dozier Hits 4 homeruns in Twins Loss

 

[tikited]

"Leidner silences critics with record breaking performance."

Then on page three: Gopher fan known as Wait!What? suffers head-exploding injury after Leidner's 4th Td pass. When asked after his head was put back together, "I am a believer now for sure."

 

[Golden04]

Heroic Effort as Sycamores win despite losing half their team before the game to food poisoning.

 

[Sparlimb]

Gophers win despite paltry 83 yards of offense.

 

[A_Slab_of_Bacon]

Gophers win despite paltry 83 yards of offense.

Defense scores 28!

 

[BarnBoy]

C1 Vikings' Bradford ready to take reigns

C2 Twins lose another close one

C3 Horse dies at Canterbury Park. Nothing tragic. Just old.

C4 Lynx players like to play ping pong in off season. Wait? It's not the offseason?

C5 Gophers athletics department in chaos, another coach fired

C6 T-wolves attend charity event. Ricky Rubio dances the tango.

C7 Vikings may sign another back up to the back up for practice squad

C8 Brad Childress: Where is he now?

C9 Jim Harbaugh. Jim Harbaugh. Jim Harbaugh.

C10 Wild ready for new season

C11 Something, something Jim Harbaugh.

C12 Gophers win in rout despite one more targeting penalty. Does Claeys have control of his program?

 

[PMWinSTP]

C1 Vikings' Bradford ready to take reigns

C2 Twins lose another close one

C3 Horse dies at Canterbury Park. Nothing tragic. Just old.

C4 Lynx players like to play ping pong in off season. Wait? It's not the offseason?

C5 Gophers athletics department in chaos, another coach fired

C6 T-wolves attend charity event. Ricky Rubio dances the tango.

C7 Vikings may sign another back up to the back up for practice squad

C8 Brad Childress: Where is he now?

C9 Jim Harbaugh. Jim Harbaugh. Jim Harbaugh.

C10 Wild ready for new season

C11 Something, something Jim Harbaugh.

C12 Gophers win in rout despite one more targeting penalty. Does Claeys have control of his program?

Well done, very well done.

 

[nsmike]

Pioneer-Press
Top half of page-Vikings
Bottom half-Gophers Win Against Overmatched FCS Opponent

 

[ruppertflywheel]

Tom Lehman takes over as Ryder Cup Captain as Davis Love can't handle the 60 degree temperatures....
Jay Robinson decks Mark Coyle and then puts him in a half Nelson......
Female Viking fans storm the Viking Headquarters with signs complaining about the lack of bathroom facilities in the new Glass Palace for women.....Ziggy says: " Use the men's like Iowa women do".....
Pitino announces they've gone 2 months without an incident with the basketball team.....
Joel Maturi sits with Pam Borton at a book signing......
Sid signs a extension with the Star Tribune through 2025.....
Jerry Kill receives a unsportsmanlike penalty as a sideline quest at the game.....
Molly becomes player-manager to keep the Twins from losing a 100 games....
Badgers lose to Akron and Gopher fans rejoice with...." So you're telling me there's a chance"
Adrian Peterson reveals yet another sibling that was born in the BWCA......
Back page of the Tribune: " Before 29,000 fans Gophers route Indiana State 52-10...
Clayes post presser. Starts with: " There's a new sheriff in town. By the end of the year the Gophers will own this State" Clayes is then informed by one of the media that the advanced sale for Colorado State is 23,000....He responds:" No sh-t"?....

 

[Vandy]

Leidner, Smith Axe Sycamores

 

[beavergopher]

Nick Saban hires J Robinson as a consultant.

 

[GoldenRodents]

Front Page

Gophers Win by One on Last Second Two Point Conversion

Claeys: "We had the momentum"

 

[go4ergold]

C1 Vikings' Bradford ready to take reigns

C2 Twins lose another close one

C3 Horse dies at Canterbury Park. Nothing tragic. Just old.

C4 Lynx players like to play ping pong in off season. Wait? It's not the offseason?

C5 Gophers athletics department in chaos, another coach fired

C6 T-wolves attend charity event. Ricky Rubio dances the tango.

C7 Vikings may sign another back up to the back up for practice squad

C8 Brad Childress: Where is he now?

C9 Jim Harbaugh. Jim Harbaugh. Jim Harbaugh.

C10 Wild ready for new season

C11 Something, something Jim Harbaugh.

C12 Gophers win in rout despite one more targeting penalty. Does Claeys have control of his program?

Spot on!

 

[caliGopher]

C1 Vikings' Bradford ready to take reigns

C2 Twins lose another close one

C3 Horse dies at Canterbury Park. Nothing tragic. Just old.

C4 Lynx players like to play ping pong in off season. Wait? It's not the offseason?

C5 Gophers athletics department in chaos, another coach fired

C6 T-wolves attend charity event. Ricky Rubio dances the tango.

C7 Vikings may sign another back up to the back up for practice squad

C8 Brad Childress: Where is he now?

C9 Jim Harbaugh. Jim Harbaugh. Jim Harbaugh.

C10 Wild ready for new season

C11 Something, something Jim Harbaugh.

E12...continued from C13 (page got axed in the pre-press meeting) Gophers embarrass the state in 45-0 route of outmatched Indiana State Squad

FIFY

 

[STPGopher]

Headline:

Wetterling case: Danny Heinrich had obsession with toy light sabers, Ford Rangers, and Parachute Pants....

Sports Section:
Page one: Sam Bradford; from Oklahoma star to Vikings starter.
Page two. North High grad and Gopher freshman has big day as Gophers roll 42-3.

 

[8151]

Headline: "Down go The Sycamores".

 

[MaxyJR1]

Zero to 60...Finally!

 

[A_Slab_of_Bacon]

So Jerry is in town so I guess the Trib could try to take him down a notch for no good reason..... maybe we get a headline out of that?

 

[MaxyJR1]

Zero to 60...Finally!

As I dislocate my arm patting myself on the back, I just felt we were due for a huge day against an FCS.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Ski U Mah Gopher]

Smith Runs for 175 Yards as Gophers Dominate Sycamores

Go Gophers!!

Just had the wrong running back.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[WorkingMyTailOff]

"Leidner silences critics with record breaking performance."

Then on page three: Gopher fan known as Wait!What? suffers head-exploding injury after Leidner's 4th Td pass. When asked after his head was put back together, "I am a believer now for sure."

You nailed it, Tiki!

 

[MGGopher]

Sadly, it will be "Four Gopher Football Players Suspended, Under Investigation by Minneapolis Police."

Sent from my SM-G920P using Tapatalk

 

[beavergopher]

Sadly, it will be "Four Gopher Football Players Suspended, Under Investigation by Minneapolis Police."

Sent from my SM-G920P using Tapatalk

Yup.

 

[NorthernLakesGopher]

Earlier this thread resembled an Onion article on Minnesota sports. Recently it seems to be reality.