Souhan: Seek and U shall find somebody to be basketball coach

BleedGopher

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Not worth providing a click. This guy mails it in so often its sad.

Souhan: Seek and U shall find somebody to be basketball coach

Norwood Teague appears to have exhausted the list of his Top 25 candidates and has moved on to “others receiving votes.”

Among the coaches the Gophers athletic director has or might have expressed interest are Andy Enfield, Flip Saunders, Shaka Smart, Brad Stevens, Buzz Williams, Gregg Marshall, Phil Jackson and John Wooden’s statue.

Mr. Teague appears to need help, so here’s an “insider’s” list of people who might be willing to take the Gophers basketball coaching position under the right circumstances:

• Tubby Smith: Wouldn’t that be a coup for Teague, hiring away a guy who’s won a national title? And if Minnesota can steal Smith from Kentucky, stealing him from Texas Tech should be no problem.

• Ryan Saunders: Flip Saunders reportedly turned down an offer to coach the Gophers in part because his son, a well-respected assistant coach with the Washington Wizards, would not have been allowed on his staff. Nobody has suggested this brilliant move: Hiring Ryan, and letting him have Flip on his staff.

• Saul Smith: Tubby wants his son to become a major-college head coach, which is why he sandbagged his six years in Minnesota: to open a spot for Saul.

• Dan Monson: He won at Gonzaga, and parlayed that success into a job at Minnesota. Now he’s winning at Long Beach State, and maybe he’s forgotten that Minnesota winters last longer than a Yankees-Red Sox game.

• Jim Molinari: Coach Mo replaced Monson on an interim basis. Now he’s winning at Western Illinois, not exactly a traditional basketball powerhouse. He plays Bo Ryan-style basketball without making a Grinch face every possession. He’s a bargain.

• Clem Haskins: He took the Gophers to the Final Four. How improbable does that sound these days? The NCAA considers that accomplishment mythical just because Clem cheated. I consider the NCAA’s wisdom mythical, so there’s no reason not to bring back Clem.

• Jim Dutcher: See Haskins, Clem.

• Gregg Marshall: He’s telling people he loves Wichita because Shocker basketball is the only game in town. He’s got to be lying. Who wants to live somewhere that a college basketball program is the only game in town? I’ve been to Wichita. The nicest thing I can say about the place is that I remember nothing about it.

• Andy Enfield: Sure, he just signed on with USC. Lock him in a room with Lane Kiffin for five minutes and he’ll be ready to move.

• Buzz Williams: Sure, Marquette is a great basketball school that spends more money per basketball player than anyone other than Duke, and sure he makes a lot of money and has no trouble taking his school to the Sweet Sixteen, but Minnesota has The Mall of America and … (please help me fill in this blank.)

• Brad Stevens: Sure, the Butler coach has turned down better programs and might be interested in leaving only for Duke, but imagine how comfortable he’d be at Minnesota. We, too, have lousy facilities based in a mid-market Midwestern city. He might not even notice that he had moved.

• Tim Miles: The Nebraska coach once worked in Minnesota and the Dakotas, and for many Minnesota alums the most important qualification a coach can possess is once having driven through the Twin Cities.

• Kurt Rambis: No, he can’t coach, but hiring him at Minnesota would at least get him off ESPN before the NBA playoffs start.

• Jerry Kill: If Kill coached the basketball team, Teague would be sure to get Michigan taken off the schedule.

• Joel Maturi: His decisions as athletic director probably cost the University of Minnesota $20 million dollars in dead contracts, bad hires and lost ticket sales and postseason revenues. If your son cost you that much money, wouldn’t you make him work it off by cutting lawns or coaching basketball or something?

• Bo Ryan: He has this in common with Tubby: They are both experts at keeping Minnesota players from scoring.

• Tom Izzo: The guy was interested in the Cleveland Cavaliers’ job after LeBron James left. You have to have a lot of unpaid parking tickets at Michigan State to want to move to Cleveland to coach the Cavs without James.

• Tim Brewster: My working theory here: He’s got to be good at something.

Go Gophers!!
 


It would be nice if just one of the columnists for the fish wrap factories was a MN sports fan.
 

I think that sarcastic article is one of SoupCan's best of his career.
 

No mention of Xavier's Chris Mack? Shocking.

http://www.thedailygopher.com/2010/3/22/1383472/adventures-in-atrocious-mainstream

The strengths that Souhan had as a beat guy have completely disappeared as a columnist for the Star Tribune. Souhan's forced attempts at humor miss the mark. His analogies are often off-base. And he's fallen into the trap of trying to write columns about sports he doesn't cover closely or understand, and that's why his recent column made him the laughingstock of the college basketball world and provided bulletin board material for the Xavier Musketeers, who beat the Gophers in the first round of the NCAA Tournament.
 


The only thing I appreciate on this site more than Bleed's links are Bleed's "Not worth providing a click"s. Thanks for saving us from the temptation of giving this guy any more clicks.
 

No mention of Xavier's Chris Mack? Shocking.

http://www.thedailygopher.com/2010/3/22/1383472/adventures-in-atrocious-mainstream

The strengths that Souhan had as a beat guy have completely disappeared as a columnist for the Star Tribune. Souhan's forced attempts at humor miss the mark. His analogies are often off-base. And he's fallen into the trap of trying to write columns about sports he doesn't cover closely or understand, and that's why his recent column made him the laughingstock of the college basketball world and provided bulletin board material for the Xavier Musketeers, who beat the Gophers in the first round of the NCAA Tournament.

Print is dead. These guys are zombies. Light a candle for his lost soul.
 

This article was not remotely clever, funny or creative. I quit reading after scanning 3 sentences. The mindless and endless discussion over the next Gopher BB is a colossal waste of time. The process will play itself out and all the speculation is a fool's game.
 

Worst ever and that is saying something. He must hate himself.
 




I for one thought the Bo Ryan and Buzz Williams jokes were funny. Some people take stuff like this way too serious.
 


I for one thought the Bo Ryan and Buzz Williams jokes were funny. Some people take stuff like this way too serious.

Who is taking it seriously? It just wasn't funny or clever...as usual.
 



Can's stand Souhan. Always Negative and is a total moron.
 

Agree, the Bo Ryan blip was funny. He should've added Tony Bennett in the same breath.
 

I actually enjoyed this column. I'm usually a Souhan hater, but I found myself laughing out loud at this piece. I liked the Gregg Marshall and Bo Ryan comments.
 


Thank goodness for Bleed posting these here, so as to spare me the indignation of clicking on anything Souhan writes.

What's most amazing to me, is that there are probably a good 20-30 of us on Gopherhole who could have written this in 15-20 minutes and posted it here as a joke, and Souhan actually get's PAID to write this. And not surprisingly, it would be much more well received here, as we can handle our own poking fun from time to time. I can only hope that Souhan's salary is not commeasurate with his performance.

It's a good gig, isn't it Jim?
 


If there's a Writers Hall of Fame for Snark, Souhan goes in on the first ballot.

Part of me hopes Xavier's Chris Mack (aka Wimpy McBalderson) gets the job if for no other reason to see how that plays out with the Strib's resident smart a*s/college basketball savant.
 

Part of me hopes Xavier's Chris Mack (aka Wimpy McBalderson) gets the job if for no other reason to see how that plays out with the Strib's resident smart a*s/college basketball savant.

I've been thinking the exact same thing ever since Mack's name was mentioned.

In my perfect fantasy world, Souhan shows up for Mack's first presser after being hired, and Mack calls on DimJim for his question, referring to him as "Baldy McSnarkypants".
 

Tim Miles: The Nebraska coach once worked in Minnesota and the Dakotas, and for many Minnesota alums the most important qualification a coach can possess is once having driven through the Twin Cities.

I lol'ed. Because it's true.
 

Not worth providing a click. This guy mails it in so often its sad.

Souhan: Seek and U shall find somebody to be basketball coach

Norwood Teague appears to have exhausted the list of his Top 25 candidates and has moved on to “others receiving votes.”

Among the coaches the Gophers athletic director has or might have expressed interest are Andy Enfield, Flip Saunders, Shaka Smart, Brad Stevens, Buzz Williams, Gregg Marshall, Phil Jackson and John Wooden’s statue.

Mr. Teague appears to need help, so here’s an “insider’s” list of people who might be willing to take the Gophers basketball coaching position under the right circumstances:

• Tubby Smith: Wouldn’t that be a coup for Teague, hiring away a guy who’s won a national title? And if Minnesota can steal Smith from Kentucky, stealing him from Texas Tech should be no problem.

• Ryan Saunders: Flip Saunders reportedly turned down an offer to coach the Gophers in part because his son, a well-respected assistant coach with the Washington Wizards, would not have been allowed on his staff. Nobody has suggested this brilliant move: Hiring Ryan, and letting him have Flip on his staff.

• Saul Smith: Tubby wants his son to become a major-college head coach, which is why he sandbagged his six years in Minnesota: to open a spot for Saul.

• Dan Monson: He won at Gonzaga, and parlayed that success into a job at Minnesota. Now he’s winning at Long Beach State, and maybe he’s forgotten that Minnesota winters last longer than a Yankees-Red Sox game.

• Jim Molinari: Coach Mo replaced Monson on an interim basis. Now he’s winning at Western Illinois, not exactly a traditional basketball powerhouse. He plays Bo Ryan-style basketball without making a Grinch face every possession. He’s a bargain.

• Clem Haskins: He took the Gophers to the Final Four. How improbable does that sound these days? The NCAA considers that accomplishment mythical just because Clem cheated. I consider the NCAA’s wisdom mythical, so there’s no reason not to bring back Clem.

• Jim Dutcher: See Haskins, Clem.

• Gregg Marshall: He’s telling people he loves Wichita because Shocker basketball is the only game in town. He’s got to be lying. Who wants to live somewhere that a college basketball program is the only game in town? I’ve been to Wichita. The nicest thing I can say about the place is that I remember nothing about it.

• Andy Enfield: Sure, he just signed on with USC. Lock him in a room with Lane Kiffin for five minutes and he’ll be ready to move.

• Buzz Williams: Sure, Marquette is a great basketball school that spends more money per basketball player than anyone other than Duke, and sure he makes a lot of money and has no trouble taking his school to the Sweet Sixteen, but Minnesota has The Mall of America and … (please help me fill in this blank.)

• Brad Stevens: Sure, the Butler coach has turned down better programs and might be interested in leaving only for Duke, but imagine how comfortable he’d be at Minnesota. We, too, have lousy facilities based in a mid-market Midwestern city. He might not even notice that he had moved.

• Tim Miles: The Nebraska coach once worked in Minnesota and the Dakotas, and for many Minnesota alums the most important qualification a coach can possess is once having driven through the Twin Cities.

• Kurt Rambis: No, he can’t coach, but hiring him at Minnesota would at least get him off ESPN before the NBA playoffs start.

• Jerry Kill: If Kill coached the basketball team, Teague would be sure to get Michigan taken off the schedule.

• Joel Maturi: His decisions as athletic director probably cost the University of Minnesota $20 million dollars in dead contracts, bad hires and lost ticket sales and postseason revenues. If your son cost you that much money, wouldn’t you make him work it off by cutting lawns or coaching basketball or something?

• Bo Ryan: He has this in common with Tubby: They are both experts at keeping Minnesota players from scoring.

• Tom Izzo: The guy was interested in the Cleveland Cavaliers’ job after LeBron James left. You have to have a lot of unpaid parking tickets at Michigan State to want to move to Cleveland to coach the Cavs without James.

• Tim Brewster: My working theory here: He’s got to be good at something.

Go Gophers!!

you state: not worth giving a click and that it was mailed-in. yet once again, you go ahead and post another souhan/reusse/powers drivel piece....even if you didn't include the so-called "link" to it. so color me confused, i guess, by your approach to them, their work and what seems like an incessant need to routinely quote them anyways here on GH. :confused:
 

you state: not worth giving a click and that it was mailed-in. yet once again, you go ahead and post another souhan/reusse/powers drivel piece....even if you didn't include the so-called "link" to it. so color me confused, i guess, by your approach to them, their work and what seems like an incessant need to routinely quote them anyways here on GH. :confused:

Know thine enemy, supadupfly. Know thine enemy. This way we can read it, hate on it, and process it, without giving Dim Jim and his Strib overlords the satisfaction of having all of us clicking it.
 

Know thine enemy, supadupfly. Know thine enemy. This way we can read it, hate on it, and process it, without giving Dim Jim and his Strib overlords the satisfaction of having all of us clicking it.

i get that. or any notion of their drivel (i.e. threads) could just not be posted to GH at all. that option seems to make a lot more sense. just my two cents. :p
 

Tired, predictable, lazy article. Like a drunk throwing a column together right before the deadline so he can go home and sleep it off. If it had been the least bit creative, I would have laughed. If it had been the least bit insightful, I would have appreciated the point of view. If it had been the least bit well written, I would have appreciated the craftsmanship. It was a zero.
 

i get that. or any notion of their drivel (i.e. threads) could just not be posted to GH at all. that option seems to make a lot more sense. just my two cents. :p

Personally, I like having the option to read and respond if I so choose, without having to give these hacks a click. Of course, everyone is different, but you definitely have the option to skip this thread :)
 

i get that. or any notion of their drivel (i.e. threads) could just not be posted to GH at all. that option seems to make a lot more sense. just my two cents. :p

In a perfect world, I agree with you. I'd rather not read or hear about this garbage. But it's not, and I'm a petty man. I like to deride Souhan on his twitter account, and this is my window to what he's pulling.
 




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