SI: A Utah high school basketball player is named Stockton Malone Shorts

[BleedGopher]

per SI:

In a sign that parental humor is alive and well, a Utah high school basketball star is named...wait for it...

Stockton. Malone. Shorts.

Stockton Malone Shorts is more than just an absolutely perfect name for a Utahn. He's averaging 24.2 points per game, and he scored 17 and posted 7 rebounds on Monday to lead Copper Hills to Utah's 5A boys basketball quarterfinals.

This is all the inspiration I need to name my first-born Shaq Kobe Rapaport.

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http://www.si.com/extra-mustard/2017/02/28/stockton-malone-shorts-utah-high-school-basketball-player

Go Gophers!!

 

[BleedGopher]

The most unique Gopher last name combo that a new parent could consider would be Nzigamasabo Shikenjanski Smith.

Go Gophers!!

 

[GopherHomer]

"Shorts" is actually my favorite part of his name - only because that's the first thing I think of when someone mentions Stockton and Malone.

 

[Otis]

That is the worst name I've heard since I met a woman named Anita Dick. (not a married name)

 

[Gophers7NatTitlesBadgers0]

You can't make that up.. And why would you?

 

[Ski U Mah Gopher]

He needs shorter shorts.