Let's change it up. What's your most embarrasing moment involving Gopher football?

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norman dale

norman dale

Lord, grant me one Rose Bowl
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No you can just write being a Gopher football fan is embarrasing in and of itself.

Mine probably occured in West Lafayette in 2002. At the time it was my third time embarking upon the worst road trip locale in the Big Ten so I knew the lay of the land pretty well. The game was slated for a 5pm local kickoff so we have plenty of time of tailgate on gameday without getting up early.

We booked our hotel not far from the team hotel in Lafayette so we checked in on Friday afternoon, had a couple of bumps in the room and drove over to the team hotel where we sauntered into the hotel bar and commenced to more drinking. While we were in the bar the team arrived and a few of the non-player contingents came into the bar so my traveling partner, I'll call him Mike because that is his name, went to mill around the lobby. During that time some of the coaches, Mason included, got to watching some ESPN show featuring college football in the lobby. We made some small talk with the coaches and in general just hung around the TV in the lobby with them.

Eventually the cheerleaders come down to the lobby and start interacting with us. "Cool" thinks the two hayseeds who have been out of college for about 5 years at this point. Well, eventually a big cargo van arrives and it is for the cheerleaders who are going out on the town. Mike and I are standing with drinks in our hands in the hotel lobby and one of the cheerleaders says to us, "you guys want to go with us?" Ummm, hell to the yes we do.

So off we go with the traveling football cheerleaders to some bar. Mike and I are thinking we 10 feet tall and bulletproof with BAL's hovering just south of the Mendoza line surrounded by cheerleaders. We get let out in front of what looks to be a country western bar adorned with knotted wood paneling and the requisite wooden barrel out front. At this point the cargo van had driven away and we lined up to have our ID's checked before entering the bar. Well lo and behold a couple of the cheerleaders were not of age and couldn't sweet talk their way into the bar. Let's just say that the taxi service in the greater Lafayette area is non-existent to drive use to another location.

This bar was on on the generous side of being on the outskirts of town. Well the older cheerleaders didin't want to to leave their underage comprades behind so we had to figure a way back into town where some bars are or the team hotel. Some local redneck sensed our plight and offered to haul us back to the hotel in his pickup. There was room for about 3 in the cab of the pickup and about 6 of us sat in the cargo box. So this rube is driving his big rig through the backwoods of Tippecanoe County, IN and I'm in the back thinking this guy is gonna go all Jason Vorhees on us and bludgeon me with a tire iron. In the end we safely arrive back at the team hotel, we buy our driver some drinks for his troubles and proceed to do shots with the guy who was to don the Goldy the Gopher outfit the next day.

What's embarrassing about that sequence of events. Nothing, yet. So the next day we get to the Purdue intramural fields early and set up our tailgate of steak and eggs. The warm, muggy day proceeds as the tailgating fields fill up. About 3 hours prior to kickoff I weave my way to the port-a-potties. There are only two at this spot. No lines at this point so I chose my abode and proceed to lay a state fair winning duker which just so lays atop whatever detritus the tank of the port-a-potty holds. The combination of heat, humidity, smoky meats being grilled around us and my outpourings created quite the funk. I open the door to leave the port-a-potty and who is waiting in the line for its use - the same cheerleaders whom I shared a drive with in the countryside the night before. However at this time the cheerleaders had their gameface on and were not in the mood to acknowledge me whatsoever. As I walk past them I look back and one of the cheerleaders throws open the door to the port-a-potty I had just came out of and was holding her hand over her mouth and looked to be dry-heaving. I then saw the entire cheerleading squad turn to look at me scornfully for tainting the facility they were to use.
 


My worst moment was screaming for Cal Stoll's head after that bad Wisconsin loss. I found out many years later, he grew up on a farm across the street from my mother's in North Dakota. Until he passed away, we would discuss several times a year how difficult it was to get bluechip recruits to come to the U.
 


Nebraska 84, Minnesota 13 - 17 September 1983
 




It was November 7, 1987. We had had two season tickets, till Holtz arrived and bought 4 more. Back in the day the biggest in State recruit who chose the Gophers had played in Rochester. Darrell Thompson was a 5 star recruit before there were stars. It was apparent in 1986 as a freshman he ran for over 1,400 yards, was the leading rusher in the Big 10. I was there when Guety chose to throw the ball against Pacific. I was screaming run the ball. Well this was the rematch and we had had all kinds of trouble finding someone who wanted the last 2 tickets. Finally we had found two Michigan Alumns who came along. Michigan jumped out early and half time was comming. I volunteered to get some dome dogs and beer. Michigan punted and pinned the Gophers inside the 5 with a couple minutes to half. I thought going early I could avoid the rush. Everyone said wait till half. But I knew the Gophers would run the ball and get some room to punt. I headed down. We were in the lower bowl at the 20, and the stand was empty. I ordered, and said I would need a box or some way to transport the beer. As they were getting a box, a roar went up and just got louder. I had een to Gopher Games since 1973 and never heard anything like it. I turned and caught the close circuit TV, Thompson to the 20, the 10, TD. As I headed back up the ramp and to the seats. Everyone including the two Michigan Alumn said, did you see that? To this day I kick myself
 

Easily the 4th quarter Michigan travesty in the Dome. The U lost more than a few football fans after that game....and that was the quick decline of Mason as the Gophers coach.
 



I was at that horrible 84-13 bashing from Nebraska in 1983? Terrible. The worst. I was very pissed off for a long time. Go Gophers!
 

Coolew01 said:
Michigan collapse
Click to expand...

I was there too, but fortunately, I did not head to the beer stand - I saw the 98 yard run. Really impressive as he beat a Michigan defender to the sideline and sort of hurdled another's half tackle then off to the races.

I played with Darrell growing up through high school (go Rockets) - I know "Oh good for me!" What a great college player - good guy too.
 

norman dale said:
No you can just write being a Gopher football fan is embarrasing in and of itself.

Mine probably occured in West Lafayette in 2002. At the time it was my third time embarking upon the worst road trip locale in the Big Ten so I knew the lay of the land pretty well. The game was slated for a 5pm local kickoff so we have plenty of time of tailgate on gameday without getting up early.

We booked our hotel not far from the team hotel in Lafayette so we checked in on Friday afternoon, had a couple of bumps in the room and drove over to the team hotel where we sauntered into the hotel bar and commenced to more drinking. While we were in the bar the team arrived and a few of the non-player contingents came into the bar so my traveling partner, I'll call him Mike because that is his name, went to mill around the lobby. During that time some of the coaches, Mason included, got to watching some ESPN show featuring college football in the lobby. We made some small talk with the coaches and in general just hung around the TV in the lobby with them.

Eventually the cheerleaders come down to the lobby and start interacting with us. "Cool" thinks the two hayseeds who have been out of college for about 5 years at this point. Well, eventually a big cargo van arrives and it is for the cheerleaders who are going out on the town. Mike and I are standing with drinks in our hands in the hotel lobby and one of the cheerleaders says to us, "you guys want to go with us?" Ummm, hell to the yes we do.

So off we go with the traveling football cheerleaders to some bar. Mike and I are thinking we 10 feet tall and bulletproof with BAL's hovering just south of the Mendoza line surrounded by cheerleaders. We get let out in front of what looks to be a country western bar adorned with knotted wood paneling and the requisite wooden barrel out front. At this point the cargo van had driven away and we lined up to have our ID's checked before entering the bar. Well lo and behold a couple of the cheerleaders were not of age and couldn't sweet talk their way into the bar. Let's just say that the taxi service in the greater Lafayette area is non-existent to drive use to another location.

This bar was on on the generous side of being on the outskirts of town. Well the older cheerleaders didin't want to to leave their underage comprades behind so we had to figure a way back into town where some bars are or the team hotel. Some local redneck sensed our plight and offered to haul us back to the hotel in his pickup. There was room for about 3 in the cab of the pickup and about 6 of us sat in the cargo box. So this rube is driving his big rig through the backwoods of Tippecanoe County, IN and I'm in the back thinking this guy is gonna go all Jason Vorhees on us and bludgeon me with a tire iron. In the end we safely arrive back at the team hotel, we buy our driver some drinks for his troubles and proceed to do shots with the guy who was to don the Goldy the Gopher outfit the next day.

What's embarrassing about that sequence of events. Nothing, yet. So the next day we get to the Purdue intramural fields early and set up our tailgate of steak and eggs. The warm, muggy day proceeds as the tailgating fields fill up. About 3 hours prior to kickoff I weave my way to the port-a-potties. There are only two at this spot. No lines at this point so I chose my abode and proceed to lay a state fair winning duker which just so lays atop whatever detritus the tank of the port-a-potty holds. The combination of heat, humidity, smoky meats being grilled around us and my outpourings created quite the funk. I open the door to leave the port-a-potty and who is waiting in the line for its use - the same cheerleaders whom I shared a drive with in the countryside the night before. However at this time the cheerleaders had their gameface on and were not in the mood to acknowledge me whatsoever. As I walk past them I look back and one of the cheerleaders throws open the door to the port-a-potty I had just came out of and was holding her hand over her mouth and looked to be dry-heaving. I then saw the entire cheerleading squad turn to look at me scornfully for tainting the facility they were to use.
Click to expand...

I give that story a 10 plus. Well done!
 

"No lines at this point so I chose my abode and proceed to lay a state fair winning duker which just so lays atop whatever detritus the tank of the port-a-potty holds."

This is Readers Digest-caliber stuff here! Thanks for the laugh and great story!

I don't know about embarrassment stories, but heartbreak is 1999 vs. Wisconsin in the dome. That one was a well-placed kick to the groin.

*sigh*

Go Gophers!
 



For me, my most embarrasing moment connected to Gopher football took place during the first couple years at the new stadium: known for Gestapo security and pat downs. For most games, my wife and I either bring another adult couple or I go alone and let one of our kids bring friends. For this particular game it was during a "dudes weekend" so it was all adult males and a tailgate lot pass next door to the stadium. So, we started early at the tailgate lot and I nearly made a fool out of myself telling everyone to please watch themselves in the stadium if they plan to bring flasks. All was well through halftime, then one of my buddies starts pouring one for each of us down the line out of his flask and literally as I take note and say "you might want to hold that down", sure enough... two police officers appear at the end of our row. They cuffed my buddy and led me out as well. It was all business until we hit the concourse, when it became obvious they do this just for show. The cuffs immediately came off my friend and they went from being a-hole cops to really nice guys. I actually felt bad as they said they have to deal with drunken college kids enough to have to waist their time with old farts like us. They told us to leave, and they were sorry but had to do that. However, they even offered to give my buddy his flask back (he was too humiliated and told them to just keep it). The whole scene and being led out of my seats surrounded by a lot of other season ticket holders sucked, and I felt like an idiot.
 

This is not as embarrassing for me as an Iowa fan (not Lois Feldman).

During a game in the early 2000's against Iowa, I was sitting in front of a particularly obnoxious Iowa fan. He was about mid twenties, hammered drunk and was simply being an asshat. Eventually I couldn't handle it anymore so I told him to shut up, an that he was being such an asshat. He asked, "oh yeah, you wanna f****n' fight Mr. Tough Guy????" My response was, "Dude, I am in 8th grade, you are trying to start a fight with an 8th grader." That was when his friends grabbed his shoulders and told him to "sit the f*** down." That was the day that Iowa fan tried to start a fight with an 8th grader.
 



Getting duped into believing Brewster was the guy for the job. I wasn't hungry, but starving for the right coach.

A close second: getting duped into believing Tubby was the guy for the job.
 

Parski1 said:
Easily the 4th quarter Michigan travesty in the Dome. The U lost more than a few football fans after that game....and that was the quick decline of Mason as the Gophers coach.
Click to expand...

+1. Me too.
 

For me as a fan of the program... the Michigan meltdown of 03 (very close second is the WI loss of 05, and a VERY close 3rd is the 1-11 season under Brewster - all very tough for different reasons).

For me as a person... definitely getting arrested at the gates of Kinnick Stadium 5 years ago. I was just plain too drunk. Being forced to wear a pink jumpsuit and being ridiculed at the Jonson County cells was a good cherry on top to the 8 hour ordeal. Bad news.
 

I don't know if I would call this embarrassing but more of a sad and happy story all rolled into one.

I'm pretty sure it was in 1991 when I was 11. For his birthday, a friend of mine decided to go to a Gophers game. So his dad took five of us and we went to the game against Wisconsin. The Gophers ended up losing by three I believe. After the game, we stuck around to let everyone else leave before we did. A few drunk dooshbags from Wisconsin thought it would be funny to throw things at us (they were sitting a few rows behind us). Mostly things like popcorn and Skittles I believe. My friend's dad nearly ended up getting in a fight before we finally left.

On one hand it's pretty damn sad that 20-something year olds would be harassing 11 year old kids like that. On the other hand, it was a happy moment in my life as that is the day my true hatred of Wisconsin started.
 

The very last game played at Memorial Stadium. Big deal right? The Gophers were 6-4 and playing the Badgers. We had four tickets. We were all set to go and then the night before the game one of us couldn't go. Made some calls and no one could make it. Remembered that a good friend of mine had a new boyfriend. We had met him 3-4 times. Even had him over to the house a couple of times. He was a BIG Football fan. Called him and he was insanely excited to go!

We got to the game, not great seats and far from a full house too. The game progressed, and the "boyfriend" got looser and mouthier. It turned out he WAS a big College Football fan. Oh and a big BADGER! fan! He was getting into it with the crowd. A crowd that seemed not to have many Badger fans. The Gopher fans were getting ticked at us, and we had a hard time getting him to shut up.

The Gophers lost by 5. We slunk out, he stayed and brayed at the crowd.
 

The bottom for me was in Brewster's 1st year and the high expectations we all had.

I'll set the stage: lot's of hype going in to the season after having gone to a bowl game the year before and lots of talk about Big 10 championships. We had a seemingly easy OCC schedule. Reality set in after the first game - a loss to Bowling Green. It wasn't the loss, but how erratic our play was and disorganized everything seemed to be. Next game; a win, but still having the same problems (and worse). A trip to Florida - same result.

Our first opponent was Purdue. Our offense and defense were still a mess, but Purdue also started playing to our "level". We were looking for something....anything to show us that things were changing and we were going to get into the a groove and win some games. The momentum went back and forth. Our defense actually stopped Purdue on the 30. They lined up for a field goal. Here's what happened:

 

I have one of my own, but I will have to wait until I have more time. This one is all about the average Wisc. moron.

My dad and I had breakfast at Jax before the Badger game about ten years ago. We just sat down in the shuttle and were waiting for the last fan to arrive. I noticed that I was easily the youngest, by far, on the shuttle-I was about 34 at the time. All of a sudden a very drunken (10 am) Badger fan came crashing up the steps and barreled into the driver. He was slurring and spouting off nonsense when the driver pushed him off and told him to get out. Drunk idiot then took a long look at the oldest Gopher fans on the planet at the time and said, "this isn't my ride?" If you've never seen a group of 30+ elderly people swear at the same time you are missing quite a scene. Every word imaginable and canes being raised to the heavens. So drunk idiot starts retaliating with his own brand of insults before he falls down the steps onto the wet sidewalk. His girlfriend rushes to help him up while yelling that we are horrible people. The driver simply drove off and we went on to beat the Badgers with Benji Kamrath leading the way.

I hate the Badgers.
 


The Michigan Meltdown of 03 was the worst for me personally and because of the Gophers.

I actually take a lot of the blame for the loss :)

True Story: I was a JR in college and during the 3rd Quarter (21-7 at the time), my GF at the time found out that I had been cheating on her and slapped me and poured my "soda" on me.

So during the worst collapse in Gopher football history (I didn't leave), I was sitting in a puddle of Jim Beam/Coke, getting stink eyed by her friends, watching it all crumble.

I don't know if it'll get much lower for me.
 

Worst: 55-0. We were at the game, surrounded by Hogeye fans. One drunk fell into me and almost knocked me over. Another drunk Iowa couple propositioned our guest for a three way. I don't know what was worse, the game or the drunken, smug, arrogance of all those around us. The Lois Feldman incident did bring a smile to my face the next morning.
2nd Worst: Michigan.
3rd Worst: South Dakota. I really wanted the Brewster thing to work. I defended him in multiple arguments for 3 years. One play convinced me I was wrong and Brewster needed to go. USD on offense about their own 30. The left gaurd pulls to the right and the right gaurd pulled to the left. The two run into each other right behind the center and look at each other like they knew they effed up. Meanwhile the QB ran around right tackle for a 30 yard gain. Walking out of that stadium and seeing the team, it's fans, and their incredibly obese cheerleaders taking a team picture under the scoreboard was horrible.
 

RailBaronYarr said:
For me as a fan of the program... the Michigan meltdown of 03 (very close second is the WI loss of 05, and a VERY close 3rd is the 1-11 season under Brewster - all very tough for different reasons).
Click to expand...

Agreed. It didn't help I was beyond bombed for WI and way beyond that for MI. I started tailgating for MI at 11:30 and was plowed by 3:00 and never stopped until they quit serving. That may be the drunkest I've ever been without puking or passing out. Both games I was so distraught I almost had to be forcibly dragged from the stadium.

Some other folks' most embarassing moments I've witnessed:

Random Wisconsin chick before the 05 game walks by our tailgate spot and pukes 10 feet from us BEFORE the game.

Random Wisconsin and Iowa fan at a MN vs IL game (I still don't get why) decide to use the beer bong we were trying to throw away that was put away dirty 3 years ago and never cleaned and obviously has mold and mildew in the no longer very clear hose. After they both used it twice they noticed the significantly cleaner hose had some crud in it and asked what it was. Wow.

My buddy did the "First Down" but had a mustard covered onion on his finger that landed on the back of some guy's white shirt.

The same buddy spilt his beer on the people in front of us, tried to make up for it by buying them a pop and popcorn, then dropped those when trying to hand them to the people (in his defense, they should have had the pop and popcorn - the kid didn't take the handoff well. And the pop flipped once and landed in a cupholder, none spilt. And they were Badger fans that gave up their Badger homecoming tickets to come watch the Gophers.). Still though, he felt about 2" tall after that! And he wasn't overly drunk!
 

Worst ever: 2002 @ Wisconsin. Myself and a group of 5 or 6 alum buds decide to go to Camp Randall to back our Gophs in our on-going Axe Reclamation project. The morning was filled with Bloody Mary's and cheap beer. We stumbled our way to the stadium, jeered and heckled a good portion of the way there. At the gate a female county sheriff immediately spots our group and comes over by us to confiscate the mini inflatable axes we were carrying with us (give away at last years game at the Dome, if I recall). We start to protest, as we see Wisconsin fans bringing in similar paraphenilia, and she got downright angry with us. Said she would confiscate our tickets next. We shut up quick. Game itself was tight for about 3 and a half quarters, until in typical Mason fashion, our defense couldn't keep us in the game. Lose 49-31.

Afterwards my friend and I who drove together attempt to locate our car, but unfortunately neither of us could remember the exact ramp we parked in, nor the level (too preoccupied with getting that first Bloody Mary. We had a general idea of where it was, and walked through several ramps before thinking we just had the wrong area altogether. From there we hoofed it all over downtown Madison trying to find the elusive ramp, decked out in full Maroon and Gold. Heckled and chided everywhere we went for several hours, we finally decided to head back to the initial ramp we tried, thinking to look one more time before we were ready to accept that the car was stolen. Back at our original point of search, we realized that the ramp had two sides, one a mirror image of the other, and failed to check that. Not too bright for two guys with diplomas from the U's IT (now CSE) Finally the car was located, after enduring hours of walking through The Heart of Darkness and enduring it's boorish natives. I've spent plenty of time in Madison in my life, but never under such annoying conditions.
 

Rescooter said:
The bottom for me was in Brewster's 1st year and the high expectations we all had.

I'll set the stage: lot's of hype going in to the season after having gone to a bowl game the year before and lots of talk about Big 10 championships. We had a seemingly easy OCC schedule. Reality set in after the first game - a loss to Bowling Green. It wasn't the loss, but how erratic our play was and disorganized everything seemed to be. Next game; a win, but still having the same problems (and worse). A trip to Florida - same result.

Our first opponent was Purdue. Our offense and defense were still a mess, but Purdue also started playing to our "level". We were looking for something....anything to show us that things were changing and we were going to get into the a groove and win some games. The momentum went back and forth. Our defense actually stopped Purdue on the 30. They lined up for a field goal. Here's what happened:

Click to expand...

This might be mine as well. My wife & I were sitting in the Hilton Sports Book in Vegas this night taking in all the action & wearing Gopher shirts. I remember standing up, yelling "Go Go Go" & then the fumble. I sank in my chair & everyone that saw it (good thing it was Minnesota & not involving two good teams, most were tuned in to Georgia OT win) was laughing at the ineptitude known as "Gopher Football." I really couldn't sink low enough in my chair. At least the Gophers got a push that night....
 

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