Hey Ho! No "Stein" yet so we'll make it a baker's dozen

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DetlefWithTheEssenHaus

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Yes, it's time once again. It is I, Detlef Erlichmann, owner and chief barkeep at the Essen Haus in Madison and home to the Upper Midwests most famous beer hall if I don't say so myself. Let us start out this message with a bit of a language lesson.


Douzaine

Docena

Dutzend

Dusin

Dussin

Dúzia


Dozzina

дюжина


Darsin

תריסר


Any of you linguists out there noticing a trend? I would guess that even one of you feeble-minded Gopher geeks used that Google thing to figure out what I was trying to get across. But I'll type it out in English v e r y s l o w l y - D O Z E N. So you think that concludes today's lesson?

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Dozen. Say it out loud to yourself - DOZEN! Think how pervasive that set of twelve is in our society. A dozen donuts, bagels, eggs, cookies, bottles of beer.... the list is endless. Oh wait, here's another example - IT IS THE NUMBER OF YEARS IN A ROW THE WISCONSIN FOOTBALL BADGERS HAVE DEFEATED THE GOOFERS!

Now that I have your attention let me get right to the heart of the matter. WHERE'S MY BLEEPIN STEIN !!! For you Johnny-come-lately's here is some clicky links to bring you up to speed:

http://www.forums.gopherhole.com/boards/showthread.php?65691-You-jugless-fools-it-s-stein-time!

The above link will provide more proof as to why the Badgers have dominated the Goofer football for the more than a decade. Plus it's just darn good entertainment.

Suffice it to say no Goofer fan has returned my family's treasured stein. But of course you already knew that since Goofers haven't beaten the Badgers since 2003.

Let's take current stock of the the respective programs:

Wisconsin, and let's just get this out of the way, will beat Minnesota and once again win the West Division of the Big Ten. Minnesota, who has defeated no team of substance, will finish with an 8-4 record. So unless you were a Goofer fan with a pair of nads and had the foresight to bet on the over for total season wins that Vegas stupidly placed at 6 your season has to be disappointing. No trophies will reside in Minneapolis for at least another 10 months.

So with the Badger win Saturday we will move onto Indianapolis once again. You and I both know that Harbaugh's Khaki Crusaders (Speight-less that they are) will be go down to Ohio State and thus we will play the Fighting Franklins of Happy Valley who are there only due to a lucky deflection of a blocked field goal. Chalk that up as a win! I'll let you in a secret Goofer fans - the Badgers are currently ranked, wait for it, number 5 in the College Football Polls meaning we are next in line for the -->

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So basically we get to skip the Rose Bowl this year because we are that good. The Goofers? Have fun in Nashville (again!) since your fanbase travels as well as Hillary Clinton victory parade. True, the Badgers will get their arses handed to them by Alabama but admit it, you'd love to be us.

For those of you concerned about my grandmother (a known witch with obvious magical powers), she is just fine. However she does enjoy reading handwritten English letters so if you would be so obliged she would love to hear how the curse she placed on the Goofer football program is affecting your life you can write to her at the following address:



Schwesternaltenheim St. Michael Berg am Laim

St.-Michael-Straße 16, 81673

München, Germany

ATTN: Jutta Erlichmann

She is convalescing at a home for the elderly. My family thanks you in advance for any letters you send her way.

Best regards,

Detlef

P.S. To the Goofer fan still holding onto to my family's stein the Essen Haus has now installed a "stein box" whereby missing steins can be returned with no ramifications to those who pilfer these artifacts. The stein box is located at the hostess stand. This should make it very easy for the timid Goofer fan to return said stein and reverse the curse.
 

Ok, I assume this is a Gopher fan. time for this bit to end.

Post again once the Gophers win. 12 in a row has ceased being funny.
 

Yep, really lame and now a curse. Stop.
 

i am so sick of losing to these bums. would the selfish gopher fan holding on to the stein please return it so we can rid ourselves of this annoying curse.

12 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! return. the. stein.
 

What is the name of you business? Oh yeh, Essen Haus.

Be warned. I will never set foot in your establishment. Without my presence, you business will fail and Obama will not be around to bail you out.
 


Never thought a lost stein would create political overtones. Move to the off topic site. Plus, Heir
Sauerkraut pretty much ripped us a new a-hole in between his German blitzkrieg.
 

Just admit it, Detlef. You lost the damn mug in a game of 6-5-4.
 

Can someone return the Stein. Every year this guys returns, and every year its the same result. How much is the Stein? Can I just send you money for a replacement Stein so we can end this curse.
 

so he has only drank from said stein 2 years out of 21, or has he not been of drinking age for that long...you sure you didn't lose it playing sheepshead?
 



I hope someone returns the stein just so this idiot stops posting this stupid story every year.
 

I've been using it as an ashtray at the cabin for the last 9 years. I found it at a yard sale in Grantsburg for $6 but I talked the nice geriatric down to $3.50. Honestly, it's nothing special and looks like something you'd pick up at a low grade renaissance fair. If you want it we can meet somewhere and I can just give you the damn thing, although I can't guarantee I can get all the crud off of it.
 


I say, Detlef can go sniff the butt diggers finger.

Ski U Master said:
I hope someone returns the stein just so this idiot stops posting this stupid story every year.
Click to expand...

Whichever Gophers has the stein, burn the sumbitch or sell it for $.50 at a yard sale. Piss off Detlef!
 



It's very funny indeed, if you're a badger. We need to be men and face the fact that we've lost to these scum bags for 12 straight years. This is a man's game and if we want to get our pride back then we need to kick the sh*t outa the scum sucking buggers. This year with as much as they have at stake would be especially nice to do.
 




Geeezzzzz - I really believe in this superstitious stuff - hope this guy gets his Stein back soon.

Way back in 1896 my great great great great grandmother had a pet mountain donkey from Ecuador that was mutilated after being viciously bitten on the mouth by a wild badger. At that time she put a curse on the Wisconsin football programme that they will never ever win a National title until the donkey's lips are returned to the family in the same manner that they were cruelly taken away. No less than 120 years later the curse still stands ... and Wisconsin will never ever win a National title until a badger kisses my hairy ass.
 

Here, Here!

Johnob2 said:
Geeezzzzz - I really believe in this superstitious stuff - hope this guy gets his Stein back soon.

Way back in 1896 my great great great great grandmother had a pet mountain donkey from Ecuador that was mutilated after being viciously bitten on the mouth by a wild badger. At that time she put a curse on the Wisconsin football programme that they will never ever win a National title until the donkey's lips are returned to the family in the same manner that they were cruelly taken away. No less than 120 years later the curse still stands ... and Wisconsin will never ever win a National title until a badger kisses my hairy ass.
Click to expand...

Bravo! Ski-U-MAH! Go Gophers, and Beat the SKUNKS!
 

Worst bit on gopherhole. I should not even reply...

Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk
 

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