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Beavcoon in the Room with the First Collective Boon Gopher athletics are in financial peril As all funding options have gone sterile. Athletes leaving for greener pastures While Dinkytown braces for massive departures. What can be done even with massive corporations in town? Who will save the...

Beavcoon in the Room Without a Flume And in a flash the waters have dried to a dust Our boats are cracked, withered, and crippled. The captain has jumped ship, leaving this place dismal. What was once a place of great promise, now has turned to rust. The captain disappears into the great chain...

Deep in America’s heartland Seeds of incompetence have been fanned. Players are scattering away from this program Including those of a local fam. Highly coveted this player has come to be And will come back to his roots of the great tree. Adding depth of speed and excitement Will leave teams in...

Beavcoon and brother Sloth went in to renew our season tickets and the process was like going through a deciduous thicket. No associate donorship to be had left Beavcoon and brother Sloth feeling not so rad. Aggravations and exasperations are still rife in this department of athletics that do...

Beavcoon in Boat Doom Part One: The Stranger On a day that was full of sunshine, Beavcoon was invited on the boat by his kin With the promise of fun, shine, and wine. When Beavcoon go on board, he noticed a stranger within… The kin said, “Beav, don’t worry, This is Phil the Ferret, it’s his...

To all my fellow rodents, what is up??? Beavcoon is back from dancing with Romans, looking to create some Gopher hubbub. Hoping it's the season of the roses. Will the mighty Gophs take a step forward? Will the boat have more oars in the water? Will our QB be a football wizard? Or will we be...

Beavcoon, Possom, Bull Doggy Dog, Giant Sloth Deceived! Lost in the four star city like a winter moth. Other Side Bar is closed and has my fellow kin peeved. Wind, rain, and snow will not slow our resolve, As the world of Goldy we revolve. Hit That!

Beavcoon With No Room Revoked! Revoked! Beavcoon and fellow rodents have lost their tailgate hopes! Nowhere to park, nowhere to party, all pulled by a misanthrope! How else to share hopes and woes with the fellow faithful? How else to show off NHL 95 Sega skills to the playful? How else to...

Beavcoon and his kin playing cards in the ESE Silos When who but Woodbury Woodpecker flies in from down low. He brings news of reckoning in Williams Where the bball team has left schools a many a victim. Beavcoon and Woody head over to check out the scene Remembering the days when they used...

Beavcoon in the Pontoon Beavcoon in his pontoon feeling victorious Along with his fellow kin seeming adventurous Cruising the waters of their winter vacation When all of a sudden the motor quits to their lamentation While brother hen tends to the motor Bulldoggie dog sees dangerous clouds...

Fleck is floatin’ Trestman is trendin’ Golden is gamblin’ Childress is Chillin’ Holtz is Hoppin’ Bohl wants Bowlin’ Schiano is shovin’ Weiss in winkin’ Fisch is frontin’ Kiffen is considerin’ Gruden is groovin’ Dungy is dotin’ Aranda is anglin’ Miles is millin’ Harsin is hurryin’ Two men are now...

Speeding down in a vessel of light To see the boys in red suffer in their plight Hunkering down is Beavcoon and the gang in the rooms of eight Where Lincoln protects Cornhuskers' gate Beavcoon and his fellow rodents entranced by the lady of voodoo In the railyards where she gave us secrets of...

Swaying' to the beats of PM Dawn In the circle of the rodent of the octagon. Heavy D says get that pig back and put it in the gunnysack Then see Sir Scratch from the Main Source By section 105 in the concourse. He'll give those Hawkeyes a vacation That will lead them straight to probation!

The coach is a man of the clairvoyant He sees this year unlike those who scribe Victorious teams of near, to the bottom we will supplant The coach is a man of the clairvoyant The thunderous roar of "Ski-U-Mah" the faithful incant No amount of relief for the opposition can be prescribed The coach...

Behold! Maroon and gold Flying out the gate Sacking of other team awaits Hail U! It sprawls The breath of fall Gopher talismanic Sends teams into severe panic POWER! Beavcoon in the room with House of Hanson!

The bells have begin to toll Captain of the ship we should soon know. Do not look inside As the answer you seek will not abide. Some have trekked to the mountains Only to come up for nothing to account in. The Timberwolves were once a wreck For he will have to keep his turtleneck. The keeper...

Part One It was the Thanksgiving of one year past Beavcoon was made aware of a hidden glass. Was told by Magnificent Mole to meet by the river flat Where the Mole live in his hole, His never ending extensive hole. In his hands was a remarkable vat. Beavcoon was curious of its existence And...

Deep within the woods, Eighteen critters with the ‘Coon are understood. Finding their way down to Iowa City, Enraged and incensed, there will be no pity. No Hawk will be spared to this oncoming rage. Dour rodents will turn the page. The championship sun sets. Harvests can’t beget. Ending...

As the skies start to darken Witches, warlocks and wolverines awaken. Our beloved gopher, wounded, struggles to not be taken. As the skies start to darken. The faithful revelers mixed in with the maize and blue heathens Hoping this macabre contest will be an apparition As the skies start to...