A Biased Fan’s Approach to the Minnesota vs. Iowa Game

The Minnesota Golden Gophers came up short of victory last Saturday, falling 28-14 to Ohio State at “The Horseshoe.” Now the maroon and gold head into the finale of their grueling three-game stretch, where they will face the hated Iowa Hawkeyes at Kinnick Stadium.

 

Take a moment to imagine this scenario: You and your buddy, an Iowa grad (I know, this article may require a vast amount of imagination for some), are catching up on life at your local bar. After covering the obligatory subjects of family and work, the conversation eventually shifts to the upcoming rivalry showdown. Below are the general approaches each individual takes:

 

Your Buddy’s Approach

 

Your friend starts by ranting about the scary good Hawkeye ground-game. He mentions that Iowa is second in the Big Ten in rushing yards per game (205) largely because of senior running back Jordan Canzeri. Canzeri is averaging 99.71 yards per game and already has nine touchdowns on the season. Iowa is ranked second in the conference with 25 rushing touchdowns thus far. Your buddy then shifts to bragging about Iowa’s big-play potential and offensive balance. This season, the Hawks have 13 plays from scrimmage of at least 40 yards, tied for second in the Big Ten. Their above-average rushing attack is complimented by an adequate, C.J. Beathard-led passing attack. Beathard rarely makes mistakes. He’s thrown only three interceptions in nine games played. Led by Canzeri and Beathard, Iowa features the third most balanced offense in the nation, behind only Kent State and Auburn. Your buddy concludes his offense-related remarks by claiming Iowa will gain an early lead against the Gophers, who have struggled in the first quarter all season. He riddles off this impressive statistic: Iowa is outscoring opponents 50-16 in the first quarter.

 

Now your buddy, perhaps getting a little too cocky due to his liquid consumption, starts blabbering about the Hawkeye defense. He empathetically states, “The Hawkeyes have allowed just three rushing touchdowns all season!” To be fair, that does rank best in the nation. Your buddy now mentions how opportunistic his favorite team is. The Hawkeye defensive unit ranks tops in the Big Ten in takeaways (20), interceptions (13) and turnover margin (+13). Your pal ensures you that his favorite team’s defense will keep quarterback Mitch Leidner in check all night.

 

Your comrade now shifts to comment on his team’s unblemished record. For the fourth time tonight, your buddy emphasizes, “Hey, did you hear we are undefeated?!” The Hawkeyes have won two games on the road against ranked opponents (Northwestern, Wisconsin). Alabama is the only other FBS program with two road wins over ranked teams. Your friend explains that Minnesota, who has lost four of their last five, won’t pose as much of a threat to his superior Iowa Hawkeyes.

 

Last but not least, your friend reminds you that Kinnick Stadium will be bumpin’ all night.  He tells you that the sellout crowd is being encouraged to dress in black for their annual “blackout” game, where the Hawkeyes will unveil their alternate all-black uniforms. Your buddy somehow thinks that this will affect the events taking place on the playing field.

 

Your Comeback

 

You don’t care about statistics. You know Minnesota is better than their record indicates. Your team is just waiting for their shining moment. This season has not been easy on your heart. Filled with player injuries, unexpected management losses (Teague, Kill) and painstakingly close defeats to highly-ranked opponents (TCU, Michigan), you can’t wait for your team’s opportunity to squash Iowa’s perfect season. You explain to your friend that November 14 will be that shining moment of Minnesota’s 2015 season. You know interim head coach Tracy Claeys will inspire football greatness within his squad with a Herb Brooks-inspired pre-game speech for the ages:

 

“I’m sick and tired of hearing about what a great football team the Hawkeyes have. Screw ‘em. This is your time. Now go out there and take it!!!”

 

Your resilient Gophers, still motivated by the absence of their father-like figure, will stun the rabid Hawkeye crowd with a statement victory against their archrivals. Deep down in your heart, you know Minnesota will keep Floyd of Rosedale where it rightfully belongs: Minneapolis.

 

You and your buddy agree to disagree on the game and stumble out of the bar. You both can’t wait to reunite on Saturday evening to see who will have the last laugh.

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